UPDATED:
Group Guidelines...Please read if you have never posted or are new
to our Avoidant Personality Group.
All members: this file is frequently updated. Please
check for ongoing updates as some are added from time to time.
Welcome AvPDers! 
The group discussions are loosely and uniquely formatted. The main
thrust of our group is AvPD, its issues, how it affects us
personally, professionally, our families and our relationship to
others. AvPD and its surrounding issues is far reaching and profoundly
affects all of our lives. This is what we talk about here. Though we
all share in this 'disorder' we are also individuals and approach it
differently. There is no one way, no right or wrong way of dealing
with it.
This forum offers us the space to speak from our hearts about who we
are, who we are not, how we struggle, how we overcome and what we
aspire to do or be. We are here to share our sadness, our hurts, frustrations or our successes and happiness
in a safe, supportive environment..
*We do not formally censor the email format and try to be tolerant of
all persons views with respect to topics, as well as sexual
orientation, personal philosophies, political standing, and spiritual
and religious view points. However the management of the list reserves the right to ask that a given topic
be dropped for a length of time if it is bringing disharmony,
hostility or other distinct tensions to the group. Or if a topic is clearly out of bounds or in any way contradicts these Group Policies.
Sometimes a newcomer will see topics that seem unrelated to APD
issues. Well, with the amount of people who join in
issues change frequently enough to be of interest to most. General board is widely used for AVPD discussions so please try to use appropriate boards for additional topics.
PLEASE NOTE:
If a subject matter is clearly off-topic and posts on Avpd
are excessively disrupted...for eg. 4 days of recipe sharing, 8 posts on
the anatomy of a poem and its meaning, how to wash a car in 3 easy steps, Sex for dummies etc...Moderators
will warn with *STOP or THREAD KILL* and further posts will be restricted.
The open philosophy of this forum doesn't disregard
the main topic of AvPD and the discussion and its issues will
be refocused on.
Please remove *other* groups name TAGS from the subject line if you
are forwarding. Do not add links to other groups in your post. Do not solicit to other forums, groups or websites.
If you have a link you'd like to share use the "your links" category. All links must be in accordance with these Group Policies. Please do NOT post links to mirror groups. Doing so is considered solicitation and will be deleted from board. Emails that come to the board with others groups links, TAGS, will be removed.
Please make sure the content of "forwards"is in reference
or context to our topics here. Humor, Inspirational, etc. posts are
welcomed, if not crude or exceedingly repetitious. Please use appropriate boards.
For those who have listed their private email address: When a person has emailed you personally (privately), then it is
considered private mail and should NOT be reposted to the group for
reference and public viewing. Do not publicly display another persons email address if they have shared it with you privately. This concept allows us all to experience trust and safety within the relationships being built here. There are no exceptions to this rule if you disclose yours or another members personal information onlist your membership will be cancelled.
Posts containing members personal home address/phone numbers will not be permitted. At this time - our list policy urges that all NEW and old members not display their primary email address and use group site to read and respond to posts.
UPDDATE: As of Oct 1st, 2007 this policy will be reinforced through periodic reminders to all list members. Do not display your email address in your profile. If you have done so earlier - go to your profile page/email settings for this group and UNCHECK the box that allows others to view your address. This is not negotiable. If you are a member here you will need to uncheck the box that allows others to view your email address on your profile with this group.
Meet Up boards were originally offered for those who felt they wanted to start a local AVPD meet in their area. The Managers of this site will gladly help promote any offshoot group that emphasizes a respectable wholesome and beneficial support outreach. However, we will not permit personal information to be publicly shared. If you want to make an announcment of sorts you must contact Managers for approval.
Most of us try to keep foul language at a minimum. Please keep
profanity in context to the nature of the feeling being expressed. If
you are upset and angry by all means express yourself but bear in
mind that you are posting to a group of people. Use your discretion.
A suggestion! Asterisks, they come in handy when you want to say the
F*** word! Please do not use bad language to attack another member,
it's just bad form.
Sometimes there are tensions between members of the group. It is
perfectly normal. We want members to feel comfortable in their
expressions. Opinions do vary and all viewpoints are important but we don't welcome controversy for the sake of "expression" and thereby keeping people 'onguard.' It is unfair to already sensitive members for a poster to use this inflammatory pattern of response and moderators may consider the member as unsuitable for the group.
If a matter becomes (profusely)
intense between you and another member, it is inappropriate to
involve the entire list. Stop and think before you react, how will it
affect others? For this reason if a situation does get 'hot' please
take it to the *Agree2Disagree* board or go private with it. In using the A2D boards only the 2 people involved will be permitted to discuss their disagreement. 3rd party opinions will not be permitted. Mods reserve the right to ask those on the Agree2Disagree board as well as on the other boards to STOP the discussion when it becomes counter productive or begins to undermine the sensitive nature of these forums.
On banning members: The only reason a ban would take place is when a
person is posting in a manner that undermines the integrity of this
group and in fact has become a detriment to it.
What determines this mainly is a persons "disorderly" conduct or
inability to be respectful to other members, management and the list as a whole.
A person is given warnings privately (if no email address is visible, will be warned publicly) and
hopefully this will make them more aware, with the opportunity to
change the conduct.
These are policies and recommendations that can help continue keeping this
lists integrity and morale high. Bottom line is that we are people
who are looking for a place where there is
a give and take of acceptance, nurturance, understanding and support.
Please note: Editing is not used.
However, this is a fully moderated list and should it become necessary, the moderators
will use it if guidelines are being blatantly disregarded. Because of FLAMING in the past,
all posting will be slightly delayed. Once you have sent a post, it will
be cleared if the content doesn't contain insulting behavior, FLAME OR SPAM or cross solicitation. To reach moderators you may use the notification link but make sure to include your email address in body of your message so we can get back in touch with you. You may also send us mail at moderator@avoidantpersonality.com for contact and response.
Questions/comments regarding group format, Management,
members and group guidelines... send directly to group Moderators through private notifications.
Group policies ...IN A NUTSHELL.........
1. Use appropriate boards. For eg. If you are writing a post about Religion, Relationships, Politics etc. use those boards.
The General board allows flexibility on Avoidant topics however if a discussion is moving in a specific direction...ie. dating and relationships, members should continue discussion on appropriate board.
2. Agree2Disagree: If you feel offended by something somebody says, don't react by attacking or being confrontational. Think about what you want to say and use the Agree2Disagree board or email them privately. There will be posted rules on this boards usage suitable to allow people to speak their minds with civility and then move forward. Also and this is key...ONLY the two people involved in the conflict will be allowed to post on the given conflict. If the matter isn't resolved or an agreement to disagree isn't reached the parties will be asked to drop the discussion and move on.
3. Personal assaults, insults towards individual members is prohibited.
4. All complaints about a members behavior or with management is to be forwarded through notifications directly to managers. If you send these to the list they will not be posted.
5. A member who does not follow these rules will be warned. If rules are ignored, banning may occur.
6. Do not cross post. Do not solicit members or use links to other discussion forums/lists in your posts.
7. Do NOT list your private email address in your profile at this group.
8. Management reserves the right to enforce policies, make changes to boards, moderate, revise and update policies as needed.
