I want to go touring in Europe, what's the gen?
With the Europe becoming ever more of a Union, touring has never been easier. Most of the tips below refer to any long journey, but there are still a few rules and quirks that can catch you out.
Getting there
The reason why we Brits are a touch perochial, and still think Europe is somewhere else, is of course the English Channel. Unless you can pump your tyres up a hell of a lot you're going to need help crossing it. Your choices are basically: ferry or tunnel.
If you just want to get to France, I recommend using the tunnel not the ferries, it's usually cheaper and they don't worry about how long you are away for unlike the rip-off ferry companies, just buy a single when you need it, about £25.
If you book online, where it says "Type of privilege" choose "Friend of Staff" and in the box that says: "Membership N° or reference" type: "004732shut". This gets you 40% off, at least it did last time I tried it.
Of course the tunnel only goes to Calais, ferries will take you to Holland, Belgium, anywhere along the French Atlantic coast and even to Spain.
At the time of writing, the ferry prices are still very high, especially if you go for long periods (why the hell does that matter?), but rumours of an impending 'price war' like some sort of EasyJet of the seas abound.
Bikes can even be more expensive than cars because special offers rarely apply. Quoting reference 61418 when booking most P&O routes gets you 30% of the standard return prices. Call 08705 202020. Often tickets are cheaper through agents, try www.cheapferries.com for example.
If you fancy Spain the easy way, there's a new ferry running from Plymouth to Santander, it takes 18 hours (the old one took 26), costs less and is really plush inside. See http://www.brittany-ferries.co.uk/index.cfm?articleid=68. Though of course you miss out on the Pyrenees this way.
The bike
Tell people you're touring on a CB and they will probably give you that look they normally reserve for cute but naughty children and people in wheelchairs. Ignore them. The CB is well up to the job (though perhaps not two-up). Look, my mate made it to Madrid via the Pyrenees like this!
Having said that, do yourself a favour and plan routes that avoid motorways and put in plently of stops. Don't try to go too far each day, 4 x 100 miles with generous breaks is plenty. Even if you have a destination in mind, make the journey part of the holiday, and do your research about good places to see en route.
If there's a service due soon it would be worth doing it before you leave, and similarly get new tyres, pads or chain if they are on the way out. Fix any niggling problems before you go.
I recommend carrying chain lube, a decent tool kit, fuses, pressure gauge, mobile phone and a puncture repair kit or "Ultraseal" or similar. Consider getting European Breakdown (and accident) cover as recovering a bike to the UK is incredibly expensive.
Maps seem to be better and cheaper if bought from fuel stations on arrival.
The Law
You must carry with you your licence, insurance, V5 document, passport, spare bulbs and for Spain a spare pair of glasses if you wear glasses. Travel insurance is a waste of cash IMHO.
Virtually all British motor insurance now covers all EU countries, I believe that it's a legal requirement now, and you don't need a Bail Bond for Spain any more. If you want to go outside of the EU (including Switzerland) check your insurance, you may need a green card.
At the moment speeding fines on the continent don't count against your UK licence, so you don't have to worry about Gatsos. If you get pulled at a speed trap they levy large on-the-spot fines, 500 euros in France for excessive speed. They won't take credit cards and will impound the bike if you can't pay so carry plenty of cash if you're planning on giving it some.
Generally though speed traps are rare, they are almost always on the entrance to towns and villages, and you will get lots of warning from oncoming motorists flashing you. If no limit is posted in built up areas it is 50 kph. It ends where you see the village name crossed out.
In Italy everybody speeds. In Switzerland, nobody.
Rumours of autoroute toll booths issuing speeding tickets based on your time between booths are false, though the ticket can is used to back up evidence from speed traps. What are you doing on autoroutes anyway?
You're meant to have a GB sticker or a euro-style number plate and to mask part of the headlight to avoid dazzling people who insist on driving on the wrong side of the road, but I can't imagine either of these ever being checked.
In Switzerland and Austria, they will try to hit you for expensive 12-month motorway tax disks or "Vignettes". If you insist you're not using motorways they will eventually give up.
Accommodation
Campsites are much more common than in the UK, and have far better facilities, usually including a cafe and bar or at least a good shop. They are a little more expensive, much more bike-friendly, will expect you to book at busy times but generally are the best option for the budget traveller. Take lots of photocopies of your passport so you don't have to hand over the real thing.
If you get soaked and miserable, many campsites will also hire out cabins or mobile homes.
Clearly though, taking a tent and sleeping bag goes against the lightweight ethos, and taking cooking equipment is probably more hassle than it's worth.
Camping wild, if done discreetly, is generally less likely to land you in trouble than at home, except in Switzerland.
Youth hostels / Auberges des Jeunesse / Jugendherberge. Continental youth hostels are typically much smarter than UK ones, if a bit souless. You don't have to be a member, but it cost a little more if you're not. They will generally have a restaurant and a guests' kitchen. If you're on the edge of starvation, the guests' kitchens usually have a stock of food left by guests for anyone to use. Take earplugs.
Backpackers / hostels These 'unofficial' youth hostels are more common in town and are of very variable quality and price. Pick with care.
Gites / B&Bs are the common favourite, especially in France. Friendly and quirky, good for meeting natives rather than irritating Australians and surly Japanese that dog youth hostels. Note that they don't usually do dinner and some don't even do breakfast, but they will be able to recommend a local restaurant. You need to do a bit of research to find them.
Formule 1 etc The Travelodges of the continent, only a bit cheaper. You know what you're getting; and that's the problem!
Proper hotels I'm assuming that people who stay in proper hotels are not the same people who go touring on CBs, right?
Go for it, good luck and happy touring!
Theo, September 2004. If you have corrections, comments or updates, email us. 
