Christians Who are Hurting

Email Sensitivities

(1) Always use good person-to-person communication skills: The best way to reach people is to treat them like a person even though they are a stranger on the internet. If you are going to try to reach people it is best to disclose a small amount about yourself, so you are not seen as just another piece of junk-mail or a stranger selling something (even if it is Jesus that you are talking about). A few sentences introducing yourself and why you are sending them mail will go a long way towards getting the receiver to actually read the e-mail rather than just deleting it. Tell them something about yourself, who you are, how you got where you are, why you are writing them, etc. In short, start a conversation with them and see where it leads.

Also remember that if you are going to try to communicate with people on the internet, you have to be prepared to put aside time for it. Be prepared to devote time to the responses.

(2) Focus on building a relationship first: Jesus comes to each of us in a unique way. He enters our lives and begins to build a relationship with us. When we see who He is, through this relationship, He becomes attractive to us, and we yield to Him. We need to model this in all of our evangelism weather on the internet or in person. Genuine interest in the person is much more attractive to the individual than a focus on getting the facts across. You will find that focusing on developing a relationship will open up more opportunities for long term communication that has more depth and quality, and sows more seeds.

(3) Consider your method of communication carefully: Are bulk mailings really a good idea? If you bulk e-mail 10,000 people ( a simple thing to do really), how will you handle the responses you may get? Let's say only 1% of those people respond, that's still 100 e-mails to respond to. Can you handle that load? Do you have the time? Would your energy be better spent on a few quality conversations than 100, of which most go unanswered? Remember, not all of your responses will be positive. There are many people openly hostile to Christianity on the internet, and they will be more than happy to write you back and cuss you out or start an argument just for fun. And they will spare you no curtsey in doing so.

(4) Don't minister on the internet alone: The internet spans the entire globe, and as such you may well get response from someone from Africa, Egypt, or Los Angeles. These people have backgrounds with all kinds of issues, problems, complaints, suggestions, hurts, etc. This is not something that one person can handle. Perhaps there is a local church in your area that has a team similar to the Paracletes which you can join? Maybe you could join the team at your local church who works on the church's web site. Most churches with a web site will have some way for people to write them, and these e-mails all need to be answered. Church staff, being overwhelmed as they are, would probably welcome the help. Team up and cover more ground.

(5) Give people a way to contact you: It is relatively cheap and easy to set up a personal web site these days. If you give your readers a place to go to learn more about the subject, you will add credibility to your communication. For example, if you and I were walking down the street and a total stranger ran up to us and said "The end is near!! The end is near!! Look out!! Look out!!" and then just ran off without saying any more, we probably wouldn't think twice about that strange person. It is my experience that this is how most e-mail recipients view unsolicited e-mail. If you can put some of your thoughts into documents that can be posted on your web site, and include a link to that website in your e-mail, others will be more prone to contact you and talk about the subject. Include some information about yourself on the web site ( a short bio and picture perhaps), maybe some links to other sites that you like, etc. Start small and let it grow over time. This is how the PBC website got where it is today. (Mike McKenna, 5/23/03)

Netiquette
Assembled by Helen Fryman Setterfield (bhs4light@sbcglobal.net)

The worldwide web is something new in man's history. You can talk to complete strangers, never seeing them, and share inmost secrets. With the anonymity of this medium, a person can hide who he or she really is behind a mask of pretend, as well. One of the things this anonymity does is invite rudeness, intentional or otherwise. Should you not intend to be rude, here are some ways to help you avoid it.

First of all, some terminology:

Flame, to insult or mock someone quite severely, with the intent of humiliating him or her.

Lurk, to watch a conversation on a forum or discussion board without people being aware of your presence; i.e. you are not participating.

Troll, to pretend to be someone else or to represent a view for the express purpose of getting a reaction on a forum or discussion board.

Newbie, someone new to either the internet as a whole or to a particular discussion group

Emoticon: the use of certain typed signs to indicate a mood or personality (}

Some common abbreviations:

LOL - laughing out loud

ROTFL - rolling on the floor laughing

IMO - in my opinion

IMHO - in my humble opinion

i.e. - the letters are for the Latin words "id est," meaning, that is. This is used when giving an example to clarify a statement.

ITM - in the meantime

OTOH - on the other hand

BRB - be right back - used on IM or a chat room when someone has to leave the computer for a moment.

BTW - By the Way

TTYL - Talk to you later

IM - Instant Message - a free one-on-one chat line

YIC - Yours in Christ

Some Common Emoticons

:-) -- (done with a colon, a dash, and a right hand parenthesis) - a smiley face

;-) -- (done with a semicolon, a dash, and a right hand parenthesis) - eye winking smiley face

:-O - shocked face

:- -- alternate smiley face

:-/ -- not-really-happy face

:- ( -- (done the same way as the smiley face with the other parenthesis) - unhappy face now you can have fun and make up your own!

You will also find that there are several signs that can be indicated rather easily. There are others that are complicated enough to deserve the term "art." One easy one is the fish: </ /><
This is another thing you can play around with yourself.

Now for some matters of courtesy:

On Forums

1. If your response to another person's post is short enough to be contained in the title (for instance, "Thank you for the correction," or "Will respond later; not ignoring you.") it is courteous to put "nt" either in quotes or parentheses after it in the title.

2. Stick to the topic of the board you are on.

3. Don't enter a new board with a challenge to the current participants (this is very common on both science and political boards). Be a "lurker" for a few days first. Most boards have a reasonable number of permanent lurkers. Learn who the participants are and what they are interested in. Then, when you enter the new discussion forum, enter saying something along the lines of "I have been watching this forum for a few days, and I have a question," or "..and I have a possible answer to this." In other words, insert yourself gently into the discussion and don't seem to be trying to take it over or dominate. You will be resented.

4. Do not post the same material over and over again. If you do not get the response you want, drop it and wait for another time and, possibly, another board.

5. Avoid profanity and flaming.

6. If you are flamed or simply insulted a bit, do not respond in kind. The anonymity of the web makes it easy to respond, but if you do you will be dragging the whole discussion board down into the mud, at least for awhile. In general, the more courteous you are, the more courteous others will be with you. There will always be exceptions, but human nature still responds to courtesy.

7. Do not pretend you are another person. If you should prefer a "handle" that is not your own name - and that is quite common - stick with it, so people will know who they are talking to.

8. Do not cut and paste material from private sources without their permission. When you do, give full credit to the person whose material you are posting. This goes for newspaper and article quotes as well, some of which are protected by copyright, so be careful.

9. Not everyone in the world is stupid but you. Pay attention to the material being presented if you are on any kind of educational or religious forum. You might learn a lot.

10. Don't respond in haste. Do you really understand what the person is saying? Check it again. Avoid the embarrassment of silly mistakes.

E-Mails

1. Do not say anything to someone you don't know well that you do not want shared.

2. The shorter the letter, the more likely it is to be read completely.

3. Do not presume intimacy. Unless the purpose of the relationship is to exchange personal information, treat your email contacts with the same courteous attitude you would treat someone you meet downtown with. This is especially true if you contact a professional in some field, and he or she has the time and courtesy to respond to you. This does not make you best friends. Maintain respect so that future emails, if necessary, will also be answered for you.

4. A caution regarding viruses: the VAST majority of viruses which are spread through emails cannot touch your computer unless you open and execute an attachment. If you receive an attachment from someone you do not know, do not open it. It is that simple. Opening an email itself, however, will not give your computer a virus as the emails do not touch the hard drive.

5. Do NOT, therefore, spread around virus warnings to multitudes of your friends unless you are sure they are really viruses!

6. One of the most irritating things that can happen is to be added to someone's email list and have that person email you and a multitude of others constantly with either jokes or inspirational messages or world news or whatever if you have not indicated that you want to be on that list. So don't do that to others, either. Occasional group mailings for specific reasons are fine. Listserves are, of course, a different matter, as people subscribe to them. But to repeatedly email en masse is rarely appreciated.

7. Different email programs have different levels of sophistication. Some will not print italics, bold, or even indentations. Some will do all that as well as indicate colors the sender may have used or colors to indicate different people in an ongoing conversation. But do not presume the person who is receiving your email has a program with this capability. To make sure you are clear with your meaning, there are some conventions that might help:

Underscoring before and after a title or phrase indicates the title or phrase should be underlined. "Yesterday I read the first chapter of __Moby Dick.__"

Asterisks before and after a word indicate you wish the word to have the emphasis of a bold type word. "I called you * three * times yesterday!"

Always use quotation marks for quotations as some programs do not indent what the sender had indented.

The use of ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING! This is poor netiquette.

If you are inserting responses into the original letter, make a new paragraph and indicate your responses with some kind of sign. Common ones are as follows:

******** My answer to that is..

%%%%% My answer to that is.

######## My answer to that is

These signs set off the response quite clearly and the person who is reading your response can clearly see which sections are yours.

Remember that every person you talk to on the internet is really a person. Some people communicate badly in writing. Some are dyslexic. Some have English as a second language. Always presume the best about the person and do not judge because of spelling, seeming immaturity, bad grammar, etc. Not every person uses language the same way and some of the nicest people can come across as harsh. Conversely, some of the most bitter people can appear quite nice. Be careful with your contacts, understanding still that each one is created in the image of God and is your neighbor.

In all your www contacts, make sure that if you were to meet that person at some time you would not be embarrassed to introduce yourself. There was one instance where one lady was counseling another and they found out they lived a few miles from each other. There are a multitude of times when people who have been on subject forums (science, politics, etc.) will end up meeting at a convention or other affair. You may not end up being as anonymous as you think, or possibly would like!

One last word of warning. Do NOT give out personal information on the internet unless it is the type of information you do not mind many people knowing. The internet is not a secure medium and you often have no way of knowing who it is you are talking to. April 14, 1999.

Addendum: The 10 Commandments of Email

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.
Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.
Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sendest it.
Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.
Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.
Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE ALL CAPS.
Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.
Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.
Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.
When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.

And, here's the "Golden Rule" of E-Mail: That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.

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Ted Wise's Web Site (http://pbc.org/dp/wise)
Lambert Dolphin's Web site (http://ldolphin.org/)
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The Paraclete Forum
The Paraclete Forum. (http://paracleteforum.org) Our email help service and bulletin board. Your email to our team is welcome. When you write us you may receive a reply from more than one of us.

Created. September 16, 1998. Revised November 18, 1999. February 3, 2000. December 10, 2001. February 2, 2002. June 28, 2002. June 17, 2003