PRIDE AND PREJUDICE A Love Story for the Ages Direct from Jane Austen's Pages   From the beginning, your glances were subtle and slight. As time passed, they became bold and outright. Through all of Elizabeth's rejections you never waned. Your declaration of love was totally restrained.         We're all astonished, as you well know,          Of what fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.          (We assume Lizzie had you at hello!)          Fine eyes and opinions that are so pert.          Wonder what Miss Bennet thought of White Wet Shirt! Enter Wickham, much to your disappointment Just knew he would be a fly in the ointment. His appearance of goodness so pleasant and charming. No doubt Elizabeth found him quite disarming           At Netherfield Ball, you finally get to dance           Suggesting, maybe this would lead to romance.            (You didn't stand a chance)            Quickly, all communication became intense            Leaving no doubt to the state of suspense. Miss Bennet's relations were viewed with great disdain. Their condition in life is beneath yours, you will later proclaim. From Netherfield Manor, without delay, You mounted a black steed and galloped away.            But this adoration would not be repressed.            A marriage proposal is soon expressed.             Elizabeth, once again, delivers her rejection.             You retaliate with an objection to her reprehensible connection. In defense, you write of Wickham's wild and wicked past. Will this news cause Elizabeth's heart to melt at last? Should have quit while you were ahead. Those family objections were better left unsaid.              Then one fine day at Pemberly,               A chance encounter came to be.               This meeting was destined, of course.                Complete with Darcy on a white horse. Love, at long last, is in full bloom Exchanging glances across the music room. Once again this love is denied With news of Wickham and his would be bride.               There is no time to hesitate                For the union of Lydia and Wickham to consummate.                It came to pass as only you could handle                To save your love from an infamous scandal. With Jane and Bingley's love reignited, They soon made plans to be united. Your steadfast mission to right this wrong Is worthy of a heroic song.                In a gentleman like manner,again you propose.                Miss Bennet accepted and we can only suppose                That indeed you have no improper pride.                 Words spoken by dearest loveliest Elizabeth, your bride.   Fast forward to the year 2001 Could Mark Darcy be the grrrrrreat grandson?  Did I mention that rogue, liar and deceiver, Wickham's decadent descendant, Daniel Cleaver?   Once again, another romance we will never forget. Haughty and handsome Mark Darcy and his naughty but perky Bridget.   Johanna, Daydreamer 8-15-05

BRIDGET JONES DIARY
 
You first met on a snowy New Year's Day
At the Annual Turkey Curry Buffet.
Not the usual bushy hair middle age bore.
But a handsome, divorced barrister Mark Darcy, for sure.
 
Is it possible, could you be Mr. Right? Ding Dong!
Sorry, the reindeer jumper makes you all wrong.
In an unforgivable manner so haughty and smug.
You shrug off this verbally incontinent spinster, dressed in a rug!
 
She drinks like a fish and smokes likes a chimney, if that's not enough.
Her best friends are neurotic, vulgar and of course one is a total puff
These comments, I'm sure, you will come to regret
Since Bridget is someone you won't soon forget
 
At the Launch, Bridget's introduction is oratorical fireworks.
And just when things couldn't get any worse.
You see her with her boss and date.
Daniel Cleaver, a man you absolutely hate!
 
Your abhorrence of this man is well concealed.
If only his wicked actions could be revealed.
Smooth talking Cleaver convinces Bridget that you're a cad.
In truth, he's the one who has done something bad.
 
On the mini-break holiday weekend you meet once more.
Bridget is with Daniel SO you she will just ignore.
Next day at the Tarts and Vicars party she's dressed as a bunny.
You both speak but it's ABSOLUTELY not funny!
 
Now I believe at this time she is getting under your skin.
But how do you reach her or how do you begin
To persuade her that you are a steady reliable alternative to Cleaver
That liar, cheat and decadent deceiver!
 
You get that chance at the Smug Married Couples dinner.
First, an apology for your unforgivable rude behavior might impress her.
Or perhaps, that you like her very much despite  appearances.
Just the way she is!  This line should improve your chances.
 
But the big breakthrough is when you  come to Bridget's rescue.
By saving her job with the Aghani-Heany exclusive interview.
Opportunity knocks on the door when you come to congratulate
The New Face of British Current Affairs.  A Journalist First Rate!
 
You are invited to stay for Bridget's birthday and even dine
On a feast of blue string soup, omelet, marmalade and fine wine.
A toast to Bridget, who cannot cook but is loved just as she is and more.
Then came that uninvited guest, Daniel Cleaver, rapping at the door!!
 
Once again, Cleaver foils your happiness and the tension mounts.
Time to call him outside and settle old accounts.
In this battle no one wins and no one loses.
When it's over there is no one Bridget chooses.
 
Another rejection and you will walk away hurt.
Like Darcy of old, except you're wearing a bloodied white shirt.
Your noble intentions were defeated by your misconception.
Will Bridget ever learn of Cleaver's gross deception?
 
Oh yes! Later, Bridget hears the account how Daniel stole your spouse.
For which she offers an apology and confirms, he is a louse!
But it's too late! You are off to New York to begin a new life.
With the possibility that Natasha could be your future wife!
 
All seems lost and Bridget overindulges because she is depressed.
Stateside you are having second thoughts that will not be repressed.
You jet back to London for that something you miss.
It's Bridget and that something is her Good-bye Kiss!
 
This story will end as we all well know.
Just as it began on a day full of snow. 
Lips locked in an embrace as an old lady snickers.
Bridget Jones is yours all dressed in her knickers.
 
Well maybe not quite the end because there could be more.
Actually this story began when you were eight and she was four!!
Fast forward to the next holiday season
And we will continue with the Edge of Reason
 
Johanna
10-06-05 
 
 
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