THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST Those trips to town were not by chance
Can it be Miss Fairfax you wish to romance?
Enlisting her cousin Algy's aid will turn out to be
An unusual case of double identity. Your vow of love is followed by Miss Fairfax's confession
To love a man named Ernest was always her obsession.
Now how can you ever take that name back
And explain that you are just plain Jack? On bended knee you then propose.
Of course, as everyone knows,
Lady Bracknell enters and in her field of vision
Finds you in an indecorous somewhat semi-recumbent position. Lady B will put you thru a grueling test
More difficult than proving you are in Earnest.
A smoker at thirty-five who knows nothing, I fear
Won't impress this Lady, even at eight thousand pounds a year! Your responses were so well intentioned
Unfortunately, should not have been mentioned.
Would not have volunteered the big black leather handbag
With that, all chances to marry Gwendolyn hit a snag. Confronted with Parents who do not exist
Lady B will demand and vehemently insist
Much to your disappointment and chagrin
You must dispel her notion of your romantic origin! With each response your chances fell.
As you are dismissed by the ringing of a bell.
But only time will ever tell
If Lady B will be your Mother-in-law from hell!
Meanwhile back at the Manor another big lie
From Algy who conveniently drops in, out of the sky.
Is there something in the air that makes this place so blessed
With two brothers both curiously named Ernest! Now Jack returns to same manor with the sad news
That dear departed brother Ernest died in Paris of ...the Achoos.
Finding Algy, the imposter, there is not amusing.
To others as well, it is all too confusing. Algy's presence causes you great alarm
When it is discovered that Cecily is taken in by his charm.
So he is banished and sent away
For his deadbeat ways and failure to pay. Gwendolyn meets Cecily and what a surprise.
Now they know that you both have been telling big lies.
They retreat to avoid your clever charade
What a novel idea to give them a serenade. You prevail on Dr. Chasuable, who curiously listened
As two grown men request to be rechristened.
Surely, this would make the ladies come down the stairs.
If not, then it's time to start begging or say some prayers. All matters of the heart are now firmly resolved
With engagements for all the parties involved.
It's too good to be true in every detail.
Lady B enters the room and this love she will derail. She has no objection for Cecily and Algy to wed
But Jack and Gwendolyn....that issue is dead!
You bargain for Miss Fairfax with great delicacy.
Denied, you all look forward to lives of passionate celibacy! Now all along Miss Prism has held the key
To your very elusive identity.
At long last will she finally disclose
What Lady Bracknell already knows? Oh my heavens and good grief,
Who would have guessed, you're a Montcrieff!!
Lady Bracknell is the sister of your mother
That makes you Algy's younger brother. In that matter of your name you would not jest
Assuring dear Gwendolyn, you truly are her one and only Ernest.
This story is told as Oscar Wilde penned.
All good things and tattoos happen in......The End
With good intentions and for what it's worth
Another original verse inspired by Colin Firth.
Johanna/Daydreamer
08-30-05
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