My wife , she is a hooker Of this she's mighty proud And the stories of her exploits Are legends in our town. She's shameless with her talents She'll go hooking anywhere And if people want to watch her She really doesn't care. It seems to be a family thing Her mother taught her how Seems her grandma was a hooker An my daughter's hooking now. She goes to hookers meetings To learn the new techniques She starts hooking in a frenzy And won't talk to me for weeks. She doesn't do the house work She doesn't make the beds No! She doesn't have the time for that She'd rather hook instead. My wife she is a hooker And I curse that awful day When she first picked up the hook and yarn And learned how to crochet.   Dedicated to all those men who found they have been abandoned for a ball of yarn.