This is an extension of
Losing Face, as I have reached the limit of pages allowed on that site.
When you fail in your respectful attempts to learn from your doctor the truth as to why your procedure turned out badly, other than a lawsuit, what is left? Patients with iatrogenic injury are often forced to choose between suffering in silence or speaking out. Personally, I believe I have held my criticism of the doctors responsible for my injury to a high degree of integrity. I have always tried to focus on the clinical facts as well as their reaction to my relentless attempts to extract the truth about my disastrous outcomes. When I refused to accept nonsensical answers and persevered in my quest for logical explanations, they responded with abuse, character assassination, and abuse of the "authority" that MD affords them. Every injured patient knows they do it.. it is no longer a secret. Yet people who pass through the medical system unscathed by duplicitous doctors are often the first to rail against patients who have the courage to bring thier own disastrous experience to light.
I have learned from living (and having that active life prematurely robbed from me) that doctors who refuse to acknowledge thier part in a patient's tragedy can and do transform kind, warm, loving patients into hard, cold hearted, distrustful ones. This is what years of lies and cover ups by doctors who allowed me to suffer from thier misdeeds have done to me. They have changed me into a person who is ready to sling thier filth right back at them... The only difference is my ammunition is legitimate..
I am sorry to disappoint those who have held me in high esteem for fighting a good and honorable fight. I disappoint myself with what I am about to expose here, and ask that you try to understand that this is the result of suffering physical torture, while the doctors responsible have done everything in thier power to malign and blacklist me from receiving proper medical treatment. They have circled their wagons to assure thier brethren will never say or do anything to further expose their role in destroying my health and my life..
They have literally left me to die... to protect thier negligent colleagues. I do not fool myself in thinking they are capable of feeling any sense of guilt or remorse for thier misdeeds. They have proved that a life.. MY LIFE, is worthless to them... I do not care if they have saved thousands of lives and have a long list of patients who praise them. I am CERTAIN that the two surgeons I trusted have the skills to help me.. to give me a chance at improving my ability to breathe, swallow, lift my head, close my jaw.. If these doctors can put people back together after their bodies have been torn apart by the most horrific trauma and disease, they could certainly do something to help SAVE MY LIFE... I have repeatedly informed them that I am more than willing to accept disfigurement in exchange for the possibility of improvement in FUNCTION.. My pleas for help have been ignored. I have finally reached the end of my ability to physically handle the basic tasks to continue living independently. I refuse to depend on anyone for anything.. I refuse to sacrifice the final bit of dignity and autonomy I have. I have always sworn I would never allow myself to reach the point where I have to depend on anyone to care for me and I intend to keep that promise to myself.. I have been robbed of years of life..
Given the opportunity to leave this life without any sense of justice being served, or extracting the only kind of justice left to me, I have decided, to use what ammunition I have. I will not leave this life while Dr. Eppley remains in his ivory tower, unscathed..
After years of writing to Dr. Eppley, begging him to talk with me, I finally received a response. Why? I think you will be able to read between the lines. I will not publish the actual evidence I have of his professional misconduct. He knows what I have and that is all that matters. I hope you will forgive my trying to use this information as leverage to help save my own life. I think anyone in my position would do the same.. and probably would have long before this. He and every doctor who could have helped me.. who should have helped me, is leaving me to die, so I WILL have the final word. They have all left me with no hope and absolutely nothing to loose.
