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To truly understand men, it is essential to remember that, deep down inside, they are biological creatures - like jellyfish or your local house pet, only less likely to clean the bathroom. When you see a guy sitting on his Harley, waiting for the traffic light to change, what you see on the surface is an intelligent, rational, technological advanced being picking his nose.
But if you were to probe beneath that sophisticated veneer, you would find all kinds of powerful instincts and glands and hormones and semi-digested Chinese food, all of which combine to exert tremendous influence over the guy’s behavior. And nowhere is this clearer than in the area of keeping the peace in his house. I mean . . . men will go to any length just to come home to some peace and quite
He will even (on the pain of death) try to train his female companion to ride her newly acquired Sporty. But let the story tell itself . . .
Yes dear ... Sure ... I can help you, but don’t you want the telephone number of that Professional Driving Instructor?
No dear . . . I don’t think that you will not understand . . . no . . . no . . . no dear - I’m sure that you will be quite capable to ride the Harley . . . yes . . . yes dear, that is the throttle . . . yes . . . and that is the front end.
No... no..... you cannot just jump on it like a horse.
Don’t worry dear.... we will pick it up again.
Yes dear Harley’s are bl**dy heavy
Yes dear . . . that sound was my back, but don’t worry dear - I’m sure that I will be able to straighten up soon.
You said what dear? You will show me how to drive the sucker - no . . . no . . . don’t push that button . . . yes dear . . . I will tell you sooner next time.
Yes dear . . . we will pick her up again.
No, don’t worry about my back . . . I’m sure this will straighten it out.
No dear . . . I’m not going to stand bowed like this forever . . . I will be all right in a minute.
Yes dear . . . the Harley sounds great . . . that Screaming Eagles sure make a difference.
What? ..........What? ..........Yes dear . . . it makes less noise when you ease out the throttle a bit . . . that is better dear - now I can hear you better.
It will go forward when you ease out on the clutch . . .
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Yes dear . . . you sure were lucky when you fell off before it hit that car.
No . . . no . . . don’t worry about it dear . . . I’m sure that everything will be covered by the insurance . . . what is that dear? You forgot to phone the company . . . too excited about the driving lesson . . . no . . . no dear, it must be the sun that turned my face this red.
Yes . . . yes dear . . . we can lift the Harley up again.
No dear, I’m sure this time - that funny sound was my back.
Yes dear . . . it sure must look funny to see me double up like this.
Yes dear . . . it is nice that you can keep her upright now . . .
Try to turn left here dear . . . no . . . no . . . NO . . . your other left, dear.
Yes dear . . . I’m sure he was just as surprised as us when you went through his fence . . .
Yes dear . . . you are going nicely now . . . you may want to get back onto the road though dear.
No dear . . . I’m sure that Harley-Davidson did not intend for you to use out the first gear and keep the rest as spares . . . no . . . no . . . no dear, I think you are doing swell.
Yes . . . you will go faster when you put her in second . . . and third . . . not so fast dear . . . and fourth . . . you may ease off on the throttle now . . . yes - that is your top gear and this sure is fast dear . . .
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Don’t worry dear - all traffic cops are like that. Yes they do not appreciate the beauty of a Harley at speed . . . yes dear.
It surely is better to drive at a slow speed dear.
No - don’t worry dear . . . I’m sure that the locals are used to lumber trucks going up this pass at 10 km per hour . . . yes dear . . . it sure is nice to drive in the middle of the road, dear.
Yes dear . . . the long line of cars sure reminds me of the drive-in when we were young also.
No dear . . . do not mind the honking . . . they are just happy to see a Harley.
Yes dear . . . I can see the people are very friendly . . . yes dear . . . all the waving.
No dear . . . I’m sure that it must be the way that they wave here . . . yes dear with that finger in the air.
NO . . . NO . . . No dear, it is not necessary to wave back . . .
Don’t mind him dear . . . yes dear . . . yes . . . I must have told you that it is necessary to keep both your hands on the handlebars.
Yes dear . . . don’t worry dear . . . we will pick her up again.
No dear . . . I’m not going to try to stand like this all day - it’s just that it seems that I cannot get my back straight again.
Yes dear . . . and my left arm that has gone totally numb now.
Sure dear . . . in my back pocket. You will find his card in my purse . . . it is clearly marked “Professional Driving Instructor.”................... |
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