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Coping with bullying continued...
Dealing with it! - The most important thing is not to let the bullies get away with it! It is tempting to do nothing and hope it will go away but it may not, and it shouldn’t be allowed to go a moment on longer than you can help!
- You may be scared to tell anyone because the bullies may threaten to make things worse. Remember though.. this is NOT true.. they don’t want you to tell because they will get it to trouble and they are scared. Once you have told someone, things can only get better not worse.
- If you are wondering who is best to tell the answer is ANYONE! It is always better to tell someone than no one. Find someone you feel comfortable with, perhaps a friend, your parent or carer, or even a teacher or staff member at you school/college/day centre etc.
- Don’t ever blame yourself!! It is not your fault and you don’t deserve it.
- Remember; the bully will have choosen ‘reasons’ to bully you, perhaps issues related to FASD or maybes others, for example looks, interests, clothing. However the real reason they are bullying you is because they are unkind people who seek out people who they think will allow them to get a way with it. It is because of the way they are not you. The ‘faults’ they find on you are not a problem.. it is them who has to change not you.
- Try to keep a diary of what has happened to you, including written accounts of incidents and name they called you, and copies of any nasty emails or texts, if possible with the date included. This can be used to show to whoever you choose to tell, so that they can see exactly what has happened and deal with it appropriately.
- If you are in a place were the bullies might be or just feel vulnerable, see if it is possible to have a group of people with you, whp can look out for you, and they are less like to approach you if you are with others.
- Tell people around you, for example friends, people who know you in your neighbourhood, or staff at you college/school/day centre etc to look out for you. That way they will probable notice if people approach and can intervene if necessary.
- I totally understand that when you are bullyed it can make you so cross that you just want to lash out and hurt the bullies, but if possible try not to, as you may get hurt if they lash out back at you, and you may get in trouble yourself. If you feel an urge to hurt then just walk away, or if they have you in a position so that you cant, scream! This should release some tension and make anyone around aware that you need help.
- This is another one that is very very hard, but if you can, try to seem as though you are not bothered. If they shout things at you or call you names just ignore them, and if you have to walk past them, don’t even look at them. Bullies like getting a reaction and if they don’t get one they get bored.
- Phone a helpline. They will b very understanding and give you advice. Here are some good ones (these are UK numbers.. email me for numbers or for other countries. hopefully i will find some to put on here soon)
- Childline (for younger people)- 0800 1111.<o:p></o:p>
- The Samaritans ( for anyone)-08457 90 90 90
- Finally, to relive the stress and tension that bullying causes, there are lots of things you can do. You can write down how you feel, listen to music, exercise like running,or just let it all out with a good cry. Anything that distracts you and relieves tension.
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