FASD on the net

Finding your place.

Me loves ya baby!

Having a good 'support network' around you is important for everyone, no matter who you are, whether you have FASD or not! Your support network can be anyone; friends, family, websites, support groups.. all that matters is that there are people you who you can trust and talk to and can provide company for you. everyone needs people to share a laff with an also problems.

But finding people who can provide this can be very hard. Many peopel may not understand your needs, or not behave in a way thats good for you, or just make you feel bad. it may not be intentional, but alot of peopel may not realise that people with FASD have special needs, because our brains work slightly differently to normal. so here are some tips on finding a suppot network for you.

Where to find a support network

well, as they say, its not what you know its who you know once you meet some mates hopefully they can introduce you to more people. and your circle will widen! (if that is what u want, if u comfortable with a smaller group thats cool too!) but initially findin that group is the thing...

the internet is a great place for meeting like minded people. there are chat rooms, meaage boards and mailing list.. many wayd of meeting others. make sure you keep urself safe though! you can look on site for FASD ( see links for more help) because of coure people there understand your problem.. u r aleardy on one.. people here understand u! if you have a specialist interest there is abound to be a site for that too, there are sites fr everyting you could imagine! just get lookin an the fun can start!

support groups and clubs; look in the yellow pages, in your doctors and hospital for leaflets and online to see if there are any groups you could go to, sports and interest clubs, youth clubs, clubs for people with learning difficulties there is all sorts.

family connections; i hope you all have family because that is vey important. family can b your biological family (the one you wee born into) but it doesnt have to b.. many many families have adopted and fostered children, and carers of other kinds. you may even live ina car home or accomdation where the staff and other residents there are you family.. they will look out for you and help you just like an other family! if you have a good relationship with your family, whoever they are, that is very positive, and you are truely blessed. other than bein there themselves, families can help you in finding other people... perhaps the have friends whow ill be ur mate too, or mates with kids your age who would like o get o know you and so on. i have experience of this, my sister takes me shopping with her mates quite often and now they are my mates too! Plus your family have your best interest at heart so you can trust that anyone they introduce you to is trustwirthy and kind.

What to expect from mates

It is important that you find people who you feel able to tell about your condition. if they dont know they will not understand some of your behaviours and that. of course, there is no pressure to share this part of your self with anyone you dont want, but it is important in someone who you intend to build a special relationship with that they are aware.

Educate these people about your condition. it is good for your friends to understand so that they can help you and support you as well as possible. whats more they can accept and even expect certain behaviours. Plus, im sure they will b interested to have more insight into yourr life.. That is what friends are for! ways to do this could be giving them website addresses (see some of the links on this site for suggestions), leaflets, or just explaining it if you feel you can, or gettin your carer to.

i understand you might not really want to say to much, in case it seems like you are too hung up on it.. after all, u im sure we all want ppl to see us as just a person who happens to have FASD, rather than a person who defines themself by it. dont worry though.. im sure they wont think this if they are a good mate. Everyone had there various quirks, abnormalities, differences etc.. it fine to talk about them , and your mates will accept that.

Fianlly, your support network must be there fore you and make you feel good. they should never upset you. if they do they are sadly not right for you

What they can expect from you

to be the best you can be. a true friend wont expect you to do more than you can, as long as you try your best to be the best friend you can be that is enough.

Love. its the most important thing. you dont always have to do the best or right thing, we are only human, but if you intentions are right and you act with love, then you are a great friend

information and help. you friends may not be aware of the exact details of your special needs so you must make them aware so that they can be a good friend to you. for example you must make sure they are aware that heavy drinking may not go on around you (as that i think would b a problem for most people with FAS). you can tell them your self, or if this is difficult for you, get someone else to.

Good luck!!!