Grrl Got Game

Mischief, Mayhem, Vamps

As you no doubt know by now, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has decided to call it an apocalypse after seven seasons on television, leaving fans with a big gaping hole in our otherwise semi-productive lives. Buffy is fast becoming the Woodstock of cult TV: The audience was never that huge, but everyone claims to have watched it the first time.

Well, true believers take heart. The wannabes are about to be busted. Buffy’s second visit to the Xbox, Buffy the Vampire Slayer™: Chaos Bleeds, takes place in a fictional “lost episode” somewhere in Season Six. Or is it Season Seven? Do I hear Season Three? Place your bids, ladies, and gentlevamps—because this one plays fast (got a long weekend to kill?) and very loose with the Buffyverse.

Things To Do in Sunnydale When You’re (Un)dead

As the title rather bluntly implies, you play Buffy, who is, like, a Vampire Slayer! Much like the first Buffy the Vampire Slayer game (read my review at http://www.xbox.com/en-us/grrlgotgame/110102.htm), you get to play the Buffster in all her third-person glory. You kick, punch, and quip your way right through the undead hearts of Sunnydale’s ever growing undead population.

You also get to kick ass as some of Buffy’s buds: Spike, the hottie vamp; Xander, the sartorially-challenged local; Willow, in full Wicca glory; and Faith, the renegade slayer who has returned to town for a very special lost-episode throw-down. And, best of all, you get to play … Sid! You know, Sid … the ventriloquist’s dummy? (Yeah, I had the same reaction. But he’s actually a blast.)

Your location and character change with almost every level. There’s the usual survival horror genre locales (a hospital, a graveyard, spooky old buildings). Plus, there’s the requisite Buffy locales: Sunnydale High, the Sunnydale Zoo, the Initiative, the Sunnydale Mall—okay, that last one isn’t really a show locale. But with Buffy’s ever changing wardrobe, you just know she spent a lotta time at the mall.

The ever-changing scenery gives the game a nice, varied feel. The real challenge is keeping track of your current ass-kicking options. All the lawyers, guns, and money in Sunnydale won’t help you when the vamps appear … but sharp, pointy objects will. This is where knowledge of the show helps—what you see on TV is pretty much what you get in the game.

To sum up: While Spike and the Slayers can do pretty much anything to hurt a vamp, Xander requires a weapon and a good hiding spot. Sid can wail on a baddie with his hands, but can barely bruise a shin when he kicks. Willow relies primarily on magic, so you’d better learn the key pad now—button mashing will not work with her.

Believe me, I tried.

Sunnydale Role Call …

Not playable, but still representing nicely throughout the game, are Giles, Tara, Anya, and Ethan Rayne, among others. Most of the original cast showed up to record their own character dialogue, and if you play well enough, you’ll unlock the videos to prove it. The rewards include disjointed video recording session clips (Anthony Stewart Head’s grunting is almost pornographic out of context) plus assorted interview snippets. You also have to bust your thumbs to open up the full array of multiplayer characters.

And, I’m not kidding about busting your thumbs. The only way to save the game is to complete a level from beginning to end. Granted, there are restore points along the way. Just don’t plan on turning your Xbox off until you’ve kicked the boss’s ass. You will lose your progress.

Don’t think you can just cruise through the levels ducking bad guys, either. Well, you can, in many cases, but you won’t earn your Slayer rating. And, in this game, it’s all about the ratings. There are six honors, ranging from Amateur (you wouldn’t last a week in Sunnydale) to Slayer.

Various factors go into the ranking, but killing a lot of vamps and not restoring too many times are certainly good ways to pump up the ol’ rating. And, yes, you should care because your ranking on each level determines what you open in the game.

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

Eventually, you will hit a level that just kills you. (For me, it was my inability to master one of Willow’s spells.) Once you do, just get through the damn thing and move on. You can always go back and try for a better ranking after you finish the game. Or, find someone who knows what they’re doing to finish the level for you. That works, too.

The important thing is to clear some levels with a relatively decent ranking (Professional or Slayer are preferable) so you can open up your multiplayer options. C’mon, you know you want to see Joss Whedon take on Spike mano-a-mano in a terrifying game of bunny catcher, don’t you?

Well, okay. That particular multiplayer game wasn’t my cuppa joe, either. But props for an idea that proves somebody loved the show as much as we do. Joss Whedon, we who are about to slay salute you, wherever you are.

Now, how about an Angel game next? (Mmm … playable Wesley … )