And now, for your viewing entertainment, I present the cartoon in the form of a newspaper personal ad! More will be added soon, along with a contest I am conjuring up in my mind!

LORD OF THE RINGS PERSONALS

Director: Ralph Bakshi Sept. 1978
50 Cents

Bewildered Male looking for equally bewildered female

Name: Frodo Baggins
Occupation: Overreacting

I like to spend my day walking around with wide eyes and grasping my belt. Wants female who doesn't mind me repeating the 'Herbal Essessessnces' commercial 24/7. Also wants female who doesn't mind that I can't spell, "essessessces".
Dates I like to go on include sitting in my den and stewing over how much better Elijah Wood looks than me. I am voiced by Christopher Guard. Call me @ 555-4215.

Lonely old man w/ Lazy eye seeking spunky, slightly disturbed male

Name: Gandalf the Grey

Occupation: Wizard

If you are a young male who enjoys watching people recite poetry while prancing around and hugging themselves, then I would be your perfect match! Age difference should not matter to you. Nor should lazy eyes. I am, technically, a wizard, but the extent of my abilities is shaking my fist at 'Aruman. Also should point out that, as much as I try, I just cannot say 'Saruman'. So you will be hearing 'Aruman. If that is a problem, please don't contact me. Dates I like to go on include sitting in my den and stewing over how much better Ian McKellen looks than me. Voiced by William Squire. Call me @ 555-8327502375209845.

Look for more Personals soon!