The ability to deal with life of lifes terms. Don't have to like it - there are still days when life sucks, but have to learn to deal with it.

Major Benefit - not going to bed everynight and planning how to kill myself - believe me I did that for a long time and if I had not quit when I did I know I would not be here writing this now.

The feeling of knowing things are going to be okay - the fellowship that I get from my GA meetings - the ability to turn things over to my Higher Power when I just cannot handle them anymore and knowing that  things will get taken care of.

But the best feeling of all is knowing that I am one of the lucky ones - as long as I do not gamble today I am a winner because I am alive.

To have the ability to look at life with a clear mind and know I am no longer living in the fog that I was in while I was gambling. To know thatnone of this would have been possible without some great help both at GAATGU, GA and the support of family and friends who sometimes did nothing more than listen when I thought the world forgot I existed.

life gets better, climbing out of the hole is slow and very hard. Damn at 56 years old, I have left myself a light at the end of the tunnel and I feel good about life again!

iam learning not to be so selfish.. have not had a gambling "urge" since early recovey. gambling thoughts are few and far between, that is a miracle ~~~

SunlitJulia

9/25/2005

One of my very early safety nets was giving up all access to money.  My husband took over the finances in December, 2003.  At the timeI quit gambling, I had over $140,000 in credit card debt; a $25,000 401(k) loan and a $10,000 home equity loan.  I've lived on a very small allowance for the past 22 months, and managed in that time to repay all debt (some of that came from the sale of our house last December), mostly from every cent I earned going toward debt repayment.

 

I bought a new car in April and paid cash for it.  We bought a house last month and I was able to get a mortgage on my own - my credit had been repaired to the point of "excellent".

 

Probably the best of this was last week, my husband gave me a check for my 'allowance' and the checking account had both of our names on it (everything had been in just his name for the past 2 years).  I don't have checks or an ATM card for this account, nor do I want one.  It was just a little sign that some trust had been restored, and it made me very happy.

 

Certainly, 22 months of clean time is not all about the money (nor is gambling).  It's just the most tangible measure of how things can improve.

Emotionally, life is much better without gambling.  My relationships have improved (marriage, friendships, family), and my priorities are focused on my Mom and her health issues rather than running from the stress to the casino to inflict pain and self-loathing.

 

Hang in there.  It's sooooo worth it to quit!

 

Teri

Have time for family and friends again. Rediscovered all the simple things in life that I use to love to do. No longer uptight and anxious all the time. Am now scheduling my time in the "realistic" world not the world of gambling.

 

In a few days I will hit my 2 year milestone and in reflecting back to my gambling days the most cherished gift I have been given is "Serenity."

 

When I was in action I couldn't live in my own skin.  Life was chaotic and I could barely look into a mirror.  I did not like who/what I saw.  I walked around with an ever present dark cloud hanging over my head.

 

Through recovery, I have been able to step outside of myself and see a whole world around me.  It is a world filled with wonderful people and beautiful nature.  I can actually see a future.  I no longer feel like I will fall apart or crumble when life gets tough.  Why?  Because I know that I am not alone! 

 

Two years ago, my Higher Power (God) gave me a gift of "life" and rather than shun this gift by gambling it away, I cherish each God given day.

 

Thanks to all for being a part of my recovery

GAjane

 

 

 

 

 

I have a life now.  I have relationships with family and friends.  I actually talk with my daughter and spend time with her and enjoy the time we spend together.  I have peace in my life and its not driving me crazy.  I can just be and not have to be doing something every second of each day.  I don't blow people off saying I'm going somewhere and not show up and if I did show up try to make an excuse to leave as soon as possible so I could get back out there.  I am a much happier person today and not so lost in my head all the time worrying about everything, the next bet, the next bill, or where the money is coming from.  I am now part of my own life and life is good.