An Opinion Column
6-05-02
I write the scenes that make the whole world sing.
Well not really...not yet...
Cool Black: The Musical--coming soon: with songs like "It must be cool blue cause Cool Black don't rant like that", "My Felicia, My Love", and "I watch soaps, but I'm still all man". Watch out Broadway!
Anyway, another project of mine got me to thinking that, what if I wrote some scenes for GH? I always thought about it, but I never went through with it--UNTIL NOW. Continue to count yourselves as the truly lucky. So here for the first time--
I WRITE THE SCENES
Key:-INT. means interior. Follwing that is the setting then the follwing paragraph describes the scene.
DON'T CRY FOR ME LUCKY, LIZ, NIK AND GIA
INT. WYNDEMERE
Lucky, Liz, Nik and Gia, are gathered. Sarah is in the middle of the floor with a suitcase in hand.
SARAH
I just want to tell you all that I
have a new position in Siberia and I
will never, never, be back. Please
no teary good-byes.
LIZ
Don't worry there won't be none.
SARAH
Okay, c`est le vie!
She leaves. Everyone stands stunned for a minute. Nik turns up the stereo and they start dancing. For some inexplicable reason, the dancing bald-headed black guy from the Club 101 opening spins into the middle of the dance floor and starts doing back flips and they all boogie like it's 1999.
****************************************
THE NUT CRACKER
INT. GH-KEVIN COLLINS OFFICE
Kevin is looking at papers when Lucky bursts in. He is followed by the secretary.
SECRETARY
I'm sorry Dr. Collins.
KEVIN
Don't worry Karen. How can I help
you Lucky?
LUCKY
I need help Kevin. I thought I was
over this brainwashing, but something
is wrong. I'm screaming and shouting
all the time. I'm saying really
stupid lines to Sarah. I can hardly
get them out before I half gag myself.
"You look beautiful in this light"
what the heck is that? I need help
Kevin! Help me!
KEVIN
Don't worry Lucky. We may have to
do some intensive shock treatments..
LUCKY
I thought those were ruled out in
the 70's.
KEVIN
Listen! Do you want help or not?
Do you want to keep up the lame
chemistry between you and Sarah?
LUCKY
Ok. Ok.
*******************************************************
OOPS I DID IT AGAIN
INT. HOTEL SUITE -- MORNING
Alexis is hung over. She is just waking up in bed. Her head is pounding.
ALEXIS
Oh man. What did I have to drink
last night? This vacation away from
my problems in Port Charles is not
turning out like it should. What's
that? Oh my goodness it's the shower.
Someone is in my shower? A burglar!
Of course not. Did I bring someone
home with me last night?
(she looks under the
sheets)
I'm naked. Oh lord. Will I ever
learn?
The man comes out of the shower. It's Jerry Jacks. He is dripping wet and wrapped only in a towel. He also has a black eye.
JJ
Hey darlin'. I'm glad you're up.
Room service should be on the way.
ALEXIS
Jerry! Don't tell me... Don't tell
me...
JJ
You didn't. See my eye?
ALEXIS
I did that?
JJ
No. Some lout, but I'm showed him.
I ran like the dickens...after you
were safe of course.
ALEXIS
Safe from what? I'm afraid to ask.
JJ
He just had his tongue down your
throat and his hand up your skirt.
You looked kind of out of it.
ALEXIS
I was unconscious?
JJ
No, but you were all dopey eyed,
kinda how you look now.
ALEXIS
So how...how did I get naked.
JJ
After you two had sex I put him out.
Just kidding. I think he had his
tongue a too little down your throat
because you kind of threw up on the
both of you. He wasn't mad either
he kindly tried to help you to his
room to change when I intervened.
Calista wasn't pleased. She can be
a little spoiled even when I'm
offering to help a friend. She's
spoiled that way.
ALEXIS
So I undressed myself?
JJ
Of course not. Twas nothing I haven't
seen before. I'm not an animal. I
can be around a naked woman. I can
even sleep with one and not try
anything.
ALEXIS
You didn't.
JJ
No.
ALEXIS
So you saw me naked.
