LETīS TALK ABOUT SEX
You should have SEX on days that begin with T:
Thanksgiving, Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday? Thunday? Every Thucking day!
Sex is:
like Nokia (connecting people) like Nike (Just do it) like Pepsi (ask for more) like Coca Cola (Enjoy) like me (too good to be true)
Top 10 Places to have sex:
1. In your bed
2. In your parents bed
3. In his car
4. On a washing machine, while running
5. In a hot tub
6. On a beach, down in the sand
7. On a comfy couch with the TV on
8. On a waterbed
9. A plane bathroom
10. **In the rain**
Top 10 Places NOT to have sex:
1. In the movies
2. In a car... WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING!
3. In front of all of your friends
4. In a phonebooth
5. In your best friend's bed
6. At Grandma's house
7. At school
8. In your dirty basement
9. In the street
10. ON-LINE**
Top three things to say before having sex:
1. I love you (but only if you mean it)
2. Rock my world
3. Let's get ready to RUMBLE...
Top three things NOT to say before having sex:
1. Is this gunna hurt?
2. Sure....I've done this thousands of times...
3. Are you sure it's on there?
Top 3 things to say after sex:
1. Are you sure this was you're first time?
2. Gotta cigarette?
3. Wanna do it again?
Top 3 things NOT to say after sex:
1. That was IT??
2. I think I hear my mom calling me ---- see ya
3. OOPS, the condom broke! My bad!
