WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH.........DRUNK DIALING ISN'T OUR

ONLY  PROBLEM....

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

 
2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE

 
3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND

HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

  
4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE

LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5. WE DROP OUR 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH

WE'RE EATING EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT

UP

AND CARRY ON EATING IT. 

6. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE

>>THE

SOOOOO MUCH.

  
7. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A

NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT

TO US.

  9. THE MAN WE'RE FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE OUR 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

  10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE

AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.

11. OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN

SO WE KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

 12. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT

IT.

 
13. WE YELL AT THE

BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY

GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER

TASTE THE

GIN.

14. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE

THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

15. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS

THE WRONG WAY BUT..."

16. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT

  
17. OUR HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.

18. WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER WE HAPPEN

TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.

19. WE BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON OUR BUTTON FLY PANTS TO

CUT DOWN ON THE TIME WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM OUR

DRINK.

 20. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT

THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.