What boys say, what boys mean...
1) I'll call you = Speak to you soon ( maybe )
2) You're alright = I quite fancy you
3) She's a slapper = It's ok for me to sleep around, but not you. i.e - I have double standards
4) It doesn't bother me when you do that = It bothers me
5) Maybe see you next week = I'll think about seeing you
6) You look ok = I haven't noticed what you're wearing
7) Your hair looks nice = You've changed something about yourself, but I don't know what it is
8) It's not you, it's me = It's you
9) I think we should just be friends = Never call me again
10) Hi babe! = Hi, I've forgotten your name
11) Do you like it here? = So do you fancy me then?
12) Is it your first time here? = Hope she hasn't seen me trying to snog every other girl here.
13) Me and my mates were just talking about you = I'm pulling you for a bet
14) That's an unusual dress = What are you wearing!?
15) I'm the shy type = I can't dance, so don't ask!
16) Come to mine for dinner = I'm too skint to take you out
17) We could have dinner at yours... = You're not meeting my parents!
18) You choose what we do... = I'm too lazy to think, perhaps I'm bored of you already!
19) Boys take advantage of girls... = Can I take advantage of you?!
20) Your mate's really nice = I fancy her too
21) Mariah Carey's a good singer = She's fit, just look at her body!
22) You always look so natural = Some cover up wouldn't hurt
23) Your make-up's stunning = Bilmey, you've trowelled that slap on girl!
24) That skirt's nice and short = Cover yourself up!
25) I'm a sensitive type of boy = I read a problem page once
26) Something came up... = I forgot you even existed
27) I really value your opinion = But mind your own business!
28) You know I love you = I want more than snogging!
29) You mean more to me than any other g/f = At the moment
30) Sex isn't important to me = I think about it all the time
31) There's nobody else = There's someone else
32) We've had some great times = It's Over right?
33) We're too good together = This isn't working, I'm bored
34) You deserve better = I've found better
35) Maybe I'll see you around = God, I hope not!
36) Of course I don't mind you driving my car = I can get bladdered and save on paying for a Cab home.
37) I bought you this portable TV for the Kitchen darling = You cook dinner and watch the soaps, while I watch the footie in peace!
38) I heard you = I haven't the foggiest idea what you said.
39) Have you lost weight babe? = Haven't noticed, but surely a compliment is worth a Blowjob.
40) The offside rule is too complicated to explain = I haven't got a bloody clue what it is either.
41) Love is a really complex issue = Love is a girl with big bazookas who's up for it all the time.
42) I like to keep myself fit = I spank the monkey at least twice a day!
10 things you should know about lads
* They find it really hard to ask girls out
* They're terrified they're rubbish at kissing
* They know less about sex than you do
* They worry you tell your friends everything
* They know absolutely nothing about periods, or the pain it causes
* They are fascinated by breasts, simply because they don't have any
* They worry they'll never have sex. Ever
* They're scared of girls in general
* They don't know how to talk to girls they fancy
* They pretend all of the above isn't true
How to deal with boys
* Boys have the same feelings you do
* Don't assume you know what they're thinking
* Never go on what a friend has told you about him
* Don't imagine that all boys want is sex
* Don't feel a boy's doing you a favour by asking you out
* Don't play games - treat boys the way you wanna be treated
* If you fancy a boy, think about asking him out ( they actually like this )
* Talk to him
* Don't tell your friends everything about him
* Don't put yourself down, in the hope that he'll give you a compliment ( he won't understand this train of thought! )
4 things boys go through...
1) Mood swings...
Yep, boys get moody too ( if you hadn't noticed ) This is because once his body starts producing testosterone, he's likely to suffer as many ups and downs as us girls.
2) Libido highs 'n' lows...
So is there any truth in the idea boys are more highly sexed than girls? Not really, though the intense highs and lows of testosterone levels can make a lad act normally one moment, and sex starved the next.
3) Anxiety about sex...
Boys have a tough time dealing with the big sex question ( will she, won't she? ) simply because they give each other such a hard time over it. So much, that sex anxiety is incredibly common!
4) Body image angst...
If you think the pressure to have a perfect bod is only a girl thing, think again!
The majority of boys worry about their physique, height and weight. They're just as influenced as us, by adverts displaying models with perfect bodies, and the idea that thin is beautiful. ( But as long as you're happy, then it doesn't matter does it?! )
The secret signs that you make him swoon!
What he does - His eyes glaze over, and he looks down...
What it means - He's got a funny feeling in his tum. You make him nervous - in a good way!
What he does - His eyes light up when he smiles at you...
What it means - He's giving you the all clear to come abit closer!
What he does - He leans his head slightly towards his shoulders...
What it means - This playful Puppy pose shows he's soft, gentle and great to be with!
