Dear Valued Members,
There comes a time in any lawyer's life when he or she decides that mastery of the law is simply not enough to satisfy one's burning ambitions, not to mention pay off one's trust fund "borrowings". So the ICBIALF team decided that we shouldn't stop at law when we can bring our high-perfomance, low-brow skills to a whole range of dubious business enterprises. After all, why shouldn't everyone have access to the smoking-monkey-magic of successful e-business?
So if you don't happen to be in need of our highly reputable
legal services, you might want to check out some of the other enterprises operating under the global umbrella of
I Can't Believe It's A Multinational Corporation, including:
I Can't Believe It's A Casino! For those among us who hate to go home, we have created the next bext thing to a warm bed and happy family - legalised gambling! That's right gentlemen - no more need to spend precious recreation hours with the Missus, now you can visit the land of booze, babes and broadway musicals. We're open 24/7 and the slots are always hot!
I Cant' Believe It's Reality TV! in order to preserve our sanity, ICBIALF team members often spend several hours a day glued to the box. That's why we thought that we should capitalise on the world-wide phenomenon that is reality TV, by bringing the freshest on-edge programming available today. Most of our variety shows are produced in our own basement studio, or at a secret location known only to the local porn-movie directors. Tune into Channel 69 today and start on your own path to compulsive viewer.
I Can't Believe What's Cooking!: Watch out, celebrity chefs, because Mr Hutz can certainly stand the heat in the kitchen. Check out your illustrious e-hero as he thrusts his iron into the fire (so to speak) of fine dining. Sample the delights at the staff canteen, take some tips from his gourmet cooking classes, and try your luck with some of his unique recipes.
I Can't Believe It's A Radio Station!: Our very own station's amazing success has been achieved against all the odds and all those critics who said that online radio just doesn't work. According to ICBIARS bigwigs, it's all about the music, and folks, you'll find yourself winding up the air guitar in no time at all once you tune in to the non-stop-blocks-of-rock favoured by our virtual DJ's. But the last word on that winning playlist must go to Mr Hutz himself: "People will like what I tell them to like". Who could argue with that?
I Can't Believe It's A Hairpiece!: The secret of success in any game isn't talent, verve or contacts...it's all about the hair. If you got a nice thick head of hair, then everything else will talk care of itself (except maybe the loan sharks you owe). But if your hair is a little sparse, it may be time to consider other options. We have just what you need, and maybe what you want... I Can't Believe It's An Airline!: Why should Richard Branson have all the fun? Hop on board the state-of-the-art Fokker Friendships of Fun for more flying hijinks than you could ever bargain for, or settle into our Platinum Wing Lounge for a few drinks as you wait for your flight, especially since you might be waiting some time.
I Can't Believe It's So Casual! Confused about the parlous state of office fashion? We make it easy for you with our especially designed catalogue of office fashions, designed to demonstrate to the sartorially challenged exactly what goes (and what goes off) in the high stakes of business casual.
I Can't Believe It's Motivational Speaking! Learn some of the skills it has taken Lionel Hutz over thirty years to collect in the upper echelons of the corporate community, as well as some of the dirty jokes learnt in some not so high places. Turn yourself into a public-speaking powerhouse, drive your business or personal life into new and exciting territory and take the chance to pick up a freeeeeeee smoking monkey upon your enrolment.
I Can't Believe I Get Paid For This! Want to work for I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm! or perhaps one of our other ground-breaking business enterprises? This is where we do our recruiting, people, so check out the opportunities to join the team that "works" for your future. Qualifications aren't necessary - just a desire to learn, an infectious enthusiam and bucketloads of bravado should do you nicely (it works for us).
I Can't Believe It's New Age Mysticism! It's healing crystals and yoga a go go here at our very own new age mystical retreat from the hectic world of corporate activity. Reinvigorate your karma, become zen and do whatever it is you do with that chakra thingy and discover the lost arts of ancient wisdom and relaxation. You'll be so blissed out you'll have to remind yourself not to fall asleep (this happens occasionally, especially if you've been spending a lot of time At The Bar).
So stay awhile and fill your plate with the best that the I Can't Believe It's... group of companies bain marie has to offer.
