| "All kinds of people are alcoholics...Only about 3 to 5 precent of alcoholics are 'bums'or skid-row types. The rest have families,friends and jobs,and are functioning fairly well. But their drinking affects some part of their lives. Their family life or their job may suffer.It might be all three. An alcoholic is someone whose drinking causes a continuing and growing problem in any department of his/her life. Alcoholics drink because they think they have to. They use alcohol as a crutch and an escape,They are in emotional pain.Eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they can't live without it. This is OBSESSION" 'When some alcoholics try to do without alcohol, the withdrawal symptoms are so overwhelming that they go back to drinking because drinking seems to be the only way to get rid of the agony. THIS IS ADDICTION: "Most alcoholics would like to be social drinkers. They spend a lot of effort trying to control their drinking so they will be able to drink like other people. They may try drinking on weekends or drinking only a certain drink. But they can never be sure of being able to stop drinking when they want to. The end up getting drunk even when they had promised themselves they wouldn't. THIS IS COMPULSION It is the nature of this diease that the patients do not believe they are ill. This is DENIAL. Hope for recovery lies in their ability to recognize a need for help their desire to stop drinking,and their willingness to admit that they cannot cope with the problem by themselves. UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES: Alcoholism is a family disease.Compulsive drinking affects the drinker and it affects the drinkers relationships, employment, childhood, parenthood, love affairs, marriages, all suffer from the effects of alcoholism. Those special relationships in which a person is really close toan alcoholic are affected nost,and the people who care are the most caught up in the behavior of another person. They react to an alcoholic's behavior. They see that the drinking is out of hand and they try to control it.They are ashamed of the public scences but in private they try to handle it. It isn't long before they feel they are to blame and take on the hurts,the fears, the guilt of an alcoholic. "These well-meaning people begin to count the number of drinks another person is having. They pour expensive liquor down drains, search the house for hidden bottles, listen for the sound of opening cans. All their thinking is directed at what the alcoholic is doing or not doing and how to get the drinker to stop drinking. THIS IS THEIR OBSESSION. Watching other human beings slowly kill themselves with alcohol is painful. While alcoholics don't seem to worry about the bills, the job, the children, the condition of their health, the people around them begin to worry. They make the mistake of covering up. They fix everything, make excuses, tell little lies to mend damaged relationships,and they worry some more. THIS IS THEIR ANXIETY. 'Sooner or later the alcoholic's behavior makes other people angry. They realize that the alcoholic is not taking care of responsibilities,is telling lies,using them. They have begun to feel that the alcoholic doesn't love them and they want to strike back,punish,make the alcoholic pay for the hurt and frustration caused by uncontrolled drinking; THIS IS THEIR ANGER: Those who are close to the alcoholic begin to pretend. They accept promises,they want to believe the problem has gone away each time there is a sober period. When every good sense tells them there is something wrong with the alcoholic's drinking and thinking,they still hide how they feel and what they know. THIS IS THEIR DENIAL: 'Perhaps the most severe damage to those who have shared some part of life with an alcoholic comes in the form of the nagging belief that they are somehow at fault;they were not up to it all, not attractive enough,not clever enough to have solved this problem for the one they love. They think it was something they did or did not do. THESE ARE THEIR FEELINGS OF GUILT; 'WE,WHO HAVE TURNED TO AL-ANON, HAVE OFTEN DONE SO IN DESPAIR,UNABLE TO BELIEVE IN THE POSSIBILITY OF CHANGE,UNABLE TO GO ON AS WE HAVE BEFORE. WE FEEL CHEATED OUT OF A LOVING COMPANION, OVER BURDENED WITH RESPONSIBILITIES,UNWANTED,UNLOVED AND ALONE.THERE ARE EVEN THOSE OF US WHO ARE ARROGANT,SMUG,SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND DOMINATING;BUT WE COME BECAUSE WE WANT,WE NEED----HELP;' | 
