| Zack Personal Story
I was a late bloomer as far as drinking goes, but truly a quick-study and therefore, I`m Zach, grateful recovering alcoholic. I remember distinctly friends saying to me, “Maybe you would act more natural if you had a drink”. I was 20 then. It was the first time anyone had so overtly yet blithely announced that I was not acting naturally. Little wonder, if indeed I was not acting naturally. I was raised in a large family that was rather strict religiously especially regarding alcohol and tobacco. Both were forbidden, and oddly enough, alcohol and or cigarettes were never a temptation for me while living at home. That`s how my drinking began, and very slowly it escalated over the next 16 years. I didn`t think that I had any control issues, but looking back with AA-Honesty, my life was riddled with manipulative arrogance. I`m a classically trained Pianist so just add alcohol and presto, manipulative arrogance thrives. Relationships were shallow and temporary at best. I was only performing an occasional show, or playing for a friend`s wedding. It seemed that a regular 40hrs./wk job with mediocre pay and benefits was less hassle than going to rehearsals or auditions, or teaching. I shelved my training for regular drinking money under the guise of “creating a nest-egg”, and “possibly going back to university”. I knew in my heart those lines were bogus, but they sounded so lofty and noble. I caught myself drinking in some real` dives, jugs of beer, by myself. I gave myself sh_t supreme after episodes like that, vowing up and down that I wouldn`t go THERE EVER AGAIN. I couldn`t trust myself anymore. Those little chats with myself in the mirror were just a waste of breath. My regular 40hrs/wk job and I were parted after 10 years with no unemployment insurance. Now what am I supposed to do? No nest-egg, no rent reserves, no piggy-bank, and too proud to ask friends or relatives for help. I hadn`t tried sincere prayer for years, but now, I felt panic and it certainly couldn`t hurt. I was under-weight, dehydrated, broke, unemployed, addicted to alcohol and very very worried. I knelt down by the side of my bed and sincerely asked God if God exists, to please help me because I cannot seem to help myself. Please send me some obvious signs as to what I should do, and I promised that I would act on those signs. The next day, I felt the strongest urge to just look-up AA in the phone book, and find out if they have some sort of plan to help me control my drinking. I had no idea that AA meant NO Alcohol!!! I phoned and got the address and time of the nearest meeting. I had just enough bus-fare to go, and would have to walk home. But it was a beautiful spring day in Vancouver, B.C., Canada so off I went to check out AA. Across the street from the bus-stop where I disembarked was a cold beer and wine store. I looked up at the sky and said, “Very Funny!!” I sometimes wonder now, if I had the miracle of 5 or 10 bucks in my pocket back then, would I have gone to that first meeting? Everything happens for a reason. I walked into the community centre and spotted the meeting right away. It was crowded and didn`t appear to have any vacant seats. However, there was an old upright piano in the corner that seemed easily accessible. That was my first “sign”. Where am I sitting at this meeting? At the piano. Somehow, I felt I belonged but I hadn`t yet learned the first thing about AA. Those big banners with the steps and traditions didn`t alarm me. The steps almost appeared to be one my Father`s long-winded prayers. As for the Serenity Prayer, my Piano Teacher had that up on her wall in the studio back when I was 13. I hadn`t thought about that until I saw it there at my first AA meeting. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I went to as many meetings as I could sometimes 3 a day. I was out of work so it wasn`t as though I didn`t have the time. I started teaching piano for a small music store part-time. Then some other part time gigs fell into my lap. Hey, things were looking up! I got a sponsor who taught me how to be honest first with myself, then with him and then society at large. He taught me consciousness, grateful and how to journal. We went to meetings together. He invited me to his home and we worked the steps together. Then, one day, I got a phone-call from Florida. An audition to perform in Tokyo for 8 months at a world-famous amusement park had obviously gone very well and I was offered the contract. I called my sponsor right away. He was excited for me but calmed me down and reminded me to think things through. Don`t just rush in.” Remember, Zach, you`re not yet one year sober. I am so grateful that he helped me to get centered. I accepted the contract and moved to Tokyo. I met my future wife while on this 1st contract. I had divorced once and was going very slow with this young Lady so as not to repeat any of my former blunders. My contract here in Tokyo has miraculously kept extending beyond what was only supposed to be 8 months. I`ve been here 6 years now. My young Lady became my Beautiful Bride after 4 years of cautious dating and becoming Best-Friends. We`ve now been married for 2 years and just 2 months ago became the proud Parents of our Beautiful Baby Girl. Everything in my Life now came to be by means of my Loving Higher Power who directed me to AA and restored me to sanity. The Promises in the AA program happened very quickly for me and I am truly very grateful. Back to "Our Stories" |
