Centering means finding your own identity and essence. This is you, separate from the influences of societal expectations and pressures. It can enhance shielding or make them unnecessary. It allows you to perceive energy clearly. It keeps you emotionally stable as you encounter new things.

Finding your center will be easiest when alone. Find some quiet time, where you can be alone for at least 30 minutes. Do what you can to prevent interruptions. Turn off the TV, radio, etc. Turn off the telephone ringer and let an answering machine answer instead.

Sit quietly for a few minutes, just breathing and noticing yourself. Pay attention to how you feel and why. Let each feeling surface and then pass on without judgement. Recognize your stream of thought and let it flow. Notice how your body feels and looks, and any tension you are carrying. Notice your daydreams, ideas, and everything that is a part of you.

Also, notice anything you are feeling that may be imposed on you by others. Look for tension, pressure, or expectations. Notice how you have reacted to them, and what your feelings are in response. There's no need to change anything unless you want to. Just be aware of these things. Consider the things you want separate from the things others want for you.

As you do this, you will get a stronger feeling of yourself. With time, you'll recognize more quickly what is a part of who you are, and what is temporary or societal. This will help prevent empathic flooding, and increase control of energy work you do.

With practice, you will be able to pause for a few seconds to center yourself in almost any circumstance. If you tend to be susceptible to empathic overload, staying centered in crowds will reduce the flooding. It may take practice to get good at, but will help significantly.

You may find that you have trouble staying centered around certain people. Their pushiness, their ideas, and their feelings overwhelm you. When you notice this happening, strengthen your grounding and centering. Stay as strong, stable, and calm as you can. Once you learn to shield, you may also want to add a shield around yourself. The shield will keep your energy separate from theirs, and give you more distance from them. The section on shields discusses this in more detail.

Question: I try to find center, but I’m not sure what’s me. How do I figure it out?

Answer: Spend several hours, or if possible, a few days alone doing hobbies. Read a book, or do any activities you enjoy. Creative or imaginative activities are the best. Look back over photographs of your childhood or the past few years. Look around your home at the things you own, and consider why you chose them. All of these things help you feel yourself. Make sure you get plenty of time alone to daydream and think.

Question: I start to find center, and then I lose it again. I can’t stay centered for more than a minute or two. Every time I go where someone else is around, I lose it.

What should I do?

Answer: Start out by centering for a long time while alone. Practice that until it feels comfortable and familiar. Watch out for getting too involved in other people’s emotions. Make sure you recognize and understand your own emotions thoroughly. Remind yourself of what is you when you are around other people.

Success

• You can feel when you are centered or not.
• You can center when you decide to.
• Your centering is stable, strong, and relaxed.
• You can stay centered for at least 5 minutes comfortably.