Posted by a_rial

                    Someone will always be prettier.
                       They will always be smarter.
                        Their house will be bigger.
                       They will drive a better car.
                 Their children will do better in school.
         And their husband will fix more things around the house.
                               So let it go,
                   and love you and your circumstances.
                              Think about it.

       The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
                        And the most highly favored
             Woman on your job may be unable to have children.
                      And the richest woman you know,
       she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely.
           And the word says if "I have not Love, I am nothing."
                           So, again, love you.
                             Love who you are.
            Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say
  "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be
disappointed!"
                       "Winners make things happen.
                        Losers let things happen."
      Be Blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.
                  "To the world you might be one person,
              but to one person you just might be the world".

Posted by arialmay98

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.  The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.  Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.  As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.  When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem." The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.  When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.  The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.  The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.  "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.  "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."  "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.  Things aren't always what they seem." Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later...

By emuya Actual School Absence Excuse Notes These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] 12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. 16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. 18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. 22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. 24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

Posted by arialmay98

Anyone need a dictionary ...........??????

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer

to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

 

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

 

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody

believes he got the biggest piece.

 

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by

feminine water power...

 

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage .

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and

everybody disagrees later on.

 

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

 

Office:- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

 

Yawn:- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

 

Etc.:- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

 

Committee:- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide

that nothing can be done together.

 

Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.

 

Atom Bomb:- An invention to end all inventions.

 

Philosopher:- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

 

Diplomat:- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

 

Opportunist:- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

 

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

 

Miser:- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

 

Father:- A banker provided by nature.

 

Criminal:- A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

 

Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

 

Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

 

Bank Cashier :- The richest person in the world if all the money he counted during his lifetime was his !!

Posted by arialmay98

 One Day a Donkey ...........

by Girum D. 

 

>One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.  The animal cried piteously

>for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. 

 

>Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up

>anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.  He invited all his

>neighbors to come over and help him.  They all grabbed a shovel and began to

>shovel dirt into the well. 

 

>At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.   Then,

>to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.  A few shovel loads later, the

>farmer finally looked down the well, and was astonished at   what he saw. 

 

>With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something

>amazing.  He would shake it off and take a step up.  As the farmer's

>neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it

>off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey

>stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off ! 

 

>Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.  The trick to getting

 

>out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.  Each of our troubles

>is a stepping - stone.  We can get out of the deepest wells just by not

>stopping, never giving up !  Shake it off and take a step up ! 

 

>Remember these five simple rules to be happy : 

 

>   1.  Free your heart from hatred. 

>   2.  Free your mind from worries. 

>   3.  Live simply. 

>   4.  Give more. 

>   5.  Expect less. 

 

>Now, enough of that crap. 

 

>The donkey later came back and kicked the shit out of the farmer who tried to bury him. 

 

>Moral :  When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to get you. 

 

Posted by arialmay98

What is intelligence? 

posted by Tefese

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One
said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole
digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in
the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the
other. "I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss.
"Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing
in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do
you mean, ?intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand
on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist
as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty
swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss
removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree.
The boss said, "That's intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend
asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here
because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said
the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face
and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

Posted by a_rial

Feminism is a radical notion that women

are PEOPLE too!!

Posted by a_rial

MEMO FROM GOD

To: YOU

Date: TODAY

From: GOD

Subject: YOU

Reference: LIFE

 

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems.

Please remember that I do not need your

help.

 

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot

handle, do not attempt to resolve it.

Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All

situations will be resolved, but in My time,

not yours.

 

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it

by worrying about it. Instead, focus on

all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

 

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There

are people in this world for whom driving is an

unheard of privilege.

 

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has

been out of work for years.

 

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the

person who has never known what it's

like to love and be loved in return.

 

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of

the woman in dire straits, working

twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

 

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from

assistance; Think of the paraplegic who

would love the opportunity to take that walk.

 

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the

cancer patient in chemo who wishes

she had hair to examine.

 

 Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life

all about, asking what is my purpose?

Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the

opportunity.

 

 Should you find yourself the victim of other people's

bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities;

Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

 

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you

may have touched their life in ways you

will never know!

Posted by a_rial

HERE is a little lesson for all u fans of  CHEMISTRY

**********************

 

Two new additions to the periodic table of chemical elements

Part I:

Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180+

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent
out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples
are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it
can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes
explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged
periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good
specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly
decomposes and begins to smell.

Part II:

Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties:  Generally round in form. Boils at any
thing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated
properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties:  Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses
strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious
stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great
amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next
to a shinier specimen.


Usage:  Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful wealth
reducing agent known.

Caution:  Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Posted by a_rial

This is so true, ppl when u feel stuck and things don't turn out as planned remember this!!

 

"The greatest achievement of the human spirit is to live up to one's
opportunities, and to make the most of one's resources." -- Vauvenargues