| How do we use a sponsor? Communication is the key to this relationship. When we have questions about any part of our program, we know we can look to our sponsor, but it is our responsibility to get in touch with them at these times. Whether it be by telephone, or in person, or for the purpose of this message e-Sponsorship, we share our problems with our sponsor. Good or bad, we try to share our experiences on a daily basis. Day or night, whenever we feel the need, we contact our sponsor. It is important that we be honest with our sponsor, that we listen with an open mind to suggestions, and that we are willing to try a way other than our own. Remember, we need never be alone. How to be a sponsor It is our experience that the decision to become a sponsor (and this includes an e-sponsor) is an important step in our recovery and should not be taken lightly. We believe that, whenever possible, we consult our own sponsor before agreeing to sponsor someone else. In order to arrive at this decision, we might wish to explore our motives. Are we considering sponsorship to look good amongst the fellowship, or to help the addict who still suffers? Remember that we can only keep what we have by giving it away. Therefore, we may wish to consider the following questions: Am I ready to become a sponsor? Am I willing to share my experience, strength, and hope? Am I willing to make a commitment? After having decided to become a sponsor, where do we go from here? We feel it is important to realize that our own recovery comes first. We believe that the basic purpose of sponsorship is to help the addict through the Twelve Steps of recovery. It becomes increasingly obvious to us that the best way to do this is by example. Sponsorship is an extension of our own personal program of recovery. One of the most difficult aspects of sponsorship is drawing the line between caring and enabling. We feel it is enabling them when we work their program for them. It doesn't help addicts if their sponsors are overprotective. Sometimes, tough love is essential to an addict's growth. We suggest that you keep in mind that it is our responsibility to carry the message, not the addict. We are not reformers, preachers of the gospel, welfare workers, part-time social workers, marriage counselors, money lenders, employment counselors, or parole officers. It is important to remember that we are also suffering addicts. There may be times when you are unable to relate to the person you sponsor. At this time you may direct them to someone who may help. We need not feel guilty if someone we sponsor relapses. We are all responsible for our own recovery. There will be times when we won't have the answers. It is our responsibility to seek these answers out with the people we sponsor. We are not God! End of IP bulletin #11 CRITERIA FOR PILLS ANONYMOUS e-SPONSORS - Minimum of 12 months of recovery.
- Regular pattern of 12-step meeting attendance for e-SPONSORS
- Has established a relationship with sponsor(s), other addicts who are working the 12 step program of recovery, an addictionologist(s), or a substance abuse counselor(s).
- Demonstration of consistent pattern of healthy recovery attitudes and behaviors on our message board, chat room, IM, and email.
- Actively working and progressing in their recovery program.
- A willingness to conduct a newcomer’s recovery chat or online meeting in our PA chat room at least once a month
How to volunteer or be of service as an e-SPONSOR To assist you in setting up your desire to be an e-Sponsor, here is the information we need: 1. Your name and last initial. 2. Your clean date. 3. Your location in the world, which is optional but helpful, as we have members in our community who reside in locations from all over the world. One must take into consideration that if they are experiencing a crisis/threat to their sobriety, or an immediate need to talk with their e-Sponsor that may not be logistically possible, as it may be daytime for some, while others a fast asleep in the night. 4. A short descriptive bio-statement that introduces you to addicts in need. This is often the most important part of your listing, as it tells those in need who you are and how you approach sponsorship. 5. How you may be contacted (email address) by prospective e-SPONSEES. The managers of this site will enter the information you provide to us on the e-SPONSOR list that can be found on our shortcut links sections of our message board, left hand side of the page. We will periodically check in with you about your experiences with this program, and make sure you are still able and willing to serve. If there are any changes - especially in email address - please let the Managers know immediately via the email to the managers link provided on the Pills Anonymous site. 6. We ask that you remember if you agree to become an e-SPONSOR or e-SPONSEE that what is discussed between the two of you, remain between the two of you. Please do not bring to the message board or chat room any difficulties that you may perceive that you, both e-SPONSOR or e-SPONSEE may be experiencing. As stated above in the NA IP #11, sometimes tough love is essential to an addict's growth. We suggest that you keep in mind that it is our responsibility to carry the message, not the addict. There may be times when you are unable to relate to the person you sponsor. At this time you may direct them to someone who may help. We have found that this can be true in face to face sponsor/sponsee relationships, and we are sure it may happen with e-SPONSORSHIP. Thank you all for making this site and new addition to our community work. With gratitude ~ Your management team of PA.
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