9. "Betcha can't lose just one paycheck!"

8. "Because actually flushing money down a toilet can clog the drain."

7. "Come play video poker the traditional native American way!"

6. "Now only 98% mafia run."

5. "Who needs Mickey Mouse when you can see a drunk Jimmy Caan slumped over a baccarat table?"

4. "You could be the next Mrs. Trump."

3. "Financial ruin + Wayne Newton = Fun!"

2. "From the moment a mediocre ex-heavyweight greets you at the door to the moment a weeping hooker bids you farewell, we'll take good care of you."

1. "We can't spell 'sucker' without 'u"."