| FORGIVENESS: LETTING GO Forgiveness is an act of "release-and-let-go." When we forgive we saying, "What you did was not fair. I did not deserve it. It hurt me deeply. But I will no longer hold it against you in our relationship. I will not carry the grudge or harbor resentment. I will absorb the pain and release you. I choose to let go." The amazing thing is that when we release someone else, we ourselves are released. All the backlog of pent-up anger, bitterness, and resentment that clogs up our lives and poisons our relationships is cleared away. Forgiveness sets us free. When there has been a massive betrayal of trust, a great and lifelong injury, do not expect to forgive in a moment. It takes time to recover from the shock, to understand the magnitude of what happened, to touch the bottom of our pain. We may say, "I intend to forgive you, to release and let go, but please understand that this will take time." Forgiveness is a process. Like peeling an onion, you take off the skin, only to discover another layer, and another, until, many tears later, you've peeled it down to the core. ---- The Christian Leader November 1998 |
