Jimmy: Well, as the holiday season approaches, there are no doubt gonna be many holiday parties. At these parties, I urge you to drink responsibly. Especialy girls. Why? Because you don't want to end up like this. Please welcome Drunk Girl, everybody.
Drunk Girl: Wheeeee!! Hahahahaha!! Shut up! Hahahaha! This holiday season, it's hard to stop drinking because.. what?!
Jimmy: I.. I didn't say anything.
Drunk Girl: I hate you, Jimmy Fallon! I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you! I.. do.. hate.. you! your hair does look pretty rad, though! Hahahaha!! Give me a kiss! [ Jimmy refuses ] Get away from me! I'm smart, okay! I took Spanish! Como et te lama! That means "Hi!"
Jimmy: I never said you weren't smart....
Drunk Girl: I never said you were a fart! Ahahahaha!! Oh, my god, that's so funny! Ahahahaha! Shut up! I can make my tongue into a taco - look!
Jimmy: Yeah, that's great.. that's fantastic.
Drunk Girl: [ starts crying ]
Jimmy: What?
Drunk Girl: Why would you sleep with my best friend..? In front of me..?
Jimmy: I never..
Drunk Girl: Do you wanna know what you are?
Jimmy: No.
Drunk Girl: Do you wanna know what you are?
Jimmy: No.
Drunk Girl: Do you wannow what you are?
Jimmy: No.
Drunk Girl: Do you wanowat you are?
Jimmy: No.
Drunk Girl: Do you wanowature?!
Jimmy: No.
Drunk Girl: You're not a man! Mmm-mmm. [ whispering ] You're an animal. Do you want to make out?
Jimmy: No, thank you.
Drunk Girl: Fine! I don't need you, then! I'm gonna go get me a slice of that Hugh Jackman!
Jimmy: Drunk Girl, everybody, Drunk Girl.