Special thanks to DJB363 for sharing her thoughts and what she's learned about False Guilt. Understanding our own feelings and reactions to our loved ones addictions can be the key to freeing ourselves from our addiction to THEM! tm
When I first came here back in September, I felt guilty for everything my ch did. I felt guilty that he stole my car, money, jewelry, used my car to burglarize a home, got put in jail, etc. Since he took no blame or guilt--I was there for him at first. The guilt was destroying my well being, so I spent much time on various internet sites concerning the Problem of Guilt. I would like to share with you what I learned as truth. Hope this can help some of you.
False guilt can be deadly to our emotions. Sometimes innocent victims become caught up in another person's immoral actions. They carry huge burdens of guilt that they should never have to bear. False guilt is not from God--it is a way of holding you back from becoming all God has planned for you to become.
False guilt continues an enabling pattern and can convince you in various ways, somehow, YOU
are responsible for an addicts behavior. False guilt accuses: You weren't strong enough or You were too strong, You weren't loving enough or You were too loving, You allowed or You didn't allow. The accusations are neverending.
False guilt receives strength from the fact you are searching for a rational, logical explanaton to the irrational, illogical behavior of a drug addict.
The two forms of guilt: Genuine guilt--that is when we violate man's law or one's moral belief. False guilt comes from misconceptions of feelings, emotions that are totally messed up or illogical, and causes a person to actually feel guilty without commiting any type of violation to God or man.
The addict is a master manipulator of false guilt. His unfounded accusations suggest your guilt. A blameless addict holds the right to continue his drug use. He is always able and willing to lay blame on somebody else. Sadly, many pick up that burdan because he won't. The victim then feels a need to carry that weight or burdan. This false guilt then becomes an overwhelming feeling that has no definable reason. This pressing sense of guilt can slowly destroy your well being.
With false guilt, innocent victims become caught up in another person's immoral actons that are not their fault.
Realize false guilt is a method of deception and can keep us from taking a stand to better our life. Freedom of false guilt begins with TRUST. We must learn to trust ourselves and to the trust the truth.
False guilt will produce fleeting unfounded, illogical feelings of self-blame for another's actions. It gives us a sense of being involved in an immoral choice of another.
Actual or true guilt is obvious and hard to run from. We are not in a drug induced state of mind, so we know when we are guilty. With all my heart, I believe God puts in us the ability to know and understand without a doubt when we do somethng wrong. It is HIs way to relieve us from our bad feelings by asking for forgiveness.
Freeing yourself from deceptive false guilt is an enlightening experience. It is necessary to rid yourself of this type of guilt to make good, sound decsions for a better life. We must learn to trust ourselves.
Guilt is a common tool used by others to obtain their own desires. to learn to distinguish the truth of guilt will give you a freedom to act upon your own behalf.
Sharing to Help,
djb363
