Autism and Sexual Issues
Persons with autism are people. They have the same desires all people do. They want to be loved, some want to be close to people, they can be manipulated, lied to, some want to have sex, some may abuse others, some will be abused by others. Persons with autism are at greater risk for sexual abuse than persons without autism. Many cannot communicate what happens to them. Many cannot consent or refuse sexual advances effectively. Many cannot discern danger signs. As with all children, children with autism will require protection from sexual predators, will require sexual education, and some may require protection from sexual predators throughout their lives.
The problems that persons with autism have in the area of social interaction and communication make relationships with those of the opposite sex difficult, at best. A sexual relationship would add a whole new level of complexity to a possibly already overloaded emotional system. It is my bias that sexual relationships are to be saved for the marriage relationship.
Because of the potential for sexual exploitation, be very careful when hiring tutors, ABA therapists, babysitters, trainers, and other persons to work with your child with autism. As a former child protective services professional, I can tell you that sexual predators rarely look the part. Sexual predators are most often someone you know and trust, could be a family member, neighbor, or even a professional with years of experience. So be careful, research the person's background and references, and check the sexual offender registries in your State or County. Make sure your child has words or symbols to describe his or her private areas, knows the rules about good and bad touches (example: no one can touch the area covered by their swim suit without permission), and until the child demonstrates the ability to stay safe, he or she is supervised for safety and frequently asked about safety issues. If available, use video cameras (etc.) to help supervise training sessions, babysitters, and other situations that you cannot be present for.
The following links will lead you to web sites that can help you with the following specific issues:
A Survival Guide for People with Asperger's Syndrome - This excellent online book by the late Marc Segar covers much more than sexual issues. This book deals with sex very frankly and from an adult point of view without a focus on morality. Read it first and see if it will meet your family member's needs.
The Socio-Sexual Development of People With Autism and Related Learning Disabilities - A very frank and helpful article by John Mortlock about autism and sexuality. Provides practical information on what topics should be included in sexual education for persons with autism. Makes a good point about being wary of the "sexual rights" advocates: "Advocates of the sexual ‘rights’ of people with autism will not be offering positive help unless they accept the difficulty that people with autism have in making and sustaining the social interaction that is necessary in our society to establish a sexual relationship. To propose anything else is to suggest that people with autism should become engaged in sexual unions that have a high potential for abuse. People with autism themselves will not necessarily be the ones who are abused, since it is they who, if encouraged to pursue their own needs without social empathy, would have insufficient awareness of the needs and feelings of any partners." (John Mortlock). If the above link does not work, try here.
The Communication Dilemma: Teaching facts about sex and sexuality to individuals with communication disorders - by Janice Adams.
Your Child's Personal Safety Inventory - Although the article is not addressed to children with autism, the skills are the necessary skills they will need to know to protect themselves. From the Stop Sex Offenders web site.
Stop Sex Offenders - A comprehensive listing of sex offender registries on the Internet. See if your neighborhood has a listed sex offender living nearby. Please keep in mind that these registries are not 100% accurate and will not reflect every sex offender's name.
Disclaimer: The information and links on this page are provided as educational material for you to make an informed decision with regard to your child's safety. We do not necessarily endorse any of the information provided by any of the links. Keep in mind that sexual offender registries may not list all dangerous individuals and may list individuals in error.
