FREE WITH THE BOOT...

                                                                                                                                                                          

                                ...2012 UK Olympic Special

 

          "WOTCHA!"

                                                      Your free delebrity guide to the oolympics!

Inside:

EXCLUSIVE:

Hunks in Trunks

         THE SEXY SECRETS OF BRITAINS SAUCIEST SWIMMERS

                              We go in at the deep end !!!!!                        

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Lady Jane Hopwood international editor 

                "Jiggy Jiggy Jiggy, joggy joggy joggy"

Yes it's me again, Jazzy Jane Hopwood out pounding the streets of London in search of the Olympic low down.It's thirsty work let me tell you that's why I've been so pleased to find all these sports bars. London seems to have gone Sports Bar crazy in anticipation of the big event. Now suddenly every Dog and Duck worth it's salt seems to have bunged in a telly and added sports bar to it's name and it's not only pubs either... How about Arthur Austins Electrical Discount Store and Sports Bar? I was intrigued and that's where my investigations started.

 ...and sports bar

Arthur proved to be a right chipper fellow, offered me a bottle of Mackeson - the sportsman's friend, and then tried to sell me an-all-in one toaster and sandwich maker for a tenner, I was tempted I can tell you but being a professional journalist I had to decline and after several more Mackesons and a can of Tennants Sports Extra - ABV 75% i had to 'wobble' on.

                                       

My next port of call was Antonio's Antiques and Sports Bar. I know Antonio from previous issues, he's a diamond. A small Panasonic telly has been artfully placed on a 16th century Queen Anne's milking stool to provide an excellent viewing facility and a tempting range of John Smith's bitter (in cans) clutter up a marvellous 14th century, 'country style' kitchen cabinet. Antonio is very excited about the forthcoming Olympics 'Eeessa marvellous.' He says, while quaffing from an enormous tankard of Olympic Gold, a new Youngs beer brewed specially for the occassion. He tempts me with a taste - abv 76% - spot on! A couple of tankards later and it feels like I'm tripple jumping on my head as I weave my way into Sanjays Greengrocer, Halal Butcher and Sports Bar for a sneaky peak at Sanjay's arrangements.         

                                            ...and sports bar

After a hefty belt of Cobra Sport, India's bestselling sportsmans lager, Sanjay and I get around to discussing his arrangements for the big occassion. 'Lager' says Sanjay, 'lots and lots of lovely lager, have some more?' How could I refuse, so in the spirit of research I downed another hookah full of the stuff and left in search of lunch                          

                             ...golden showers                                

Now, you'll remember Burpas from my last report - my early morning livener and bagel haunt - well now Burpas, not surprisingly, has become Burpas Sports and Bagel Bar and serves The Golden Shower a mean lunchtime cocktail I can tell you...a mixture of Calvados, gin and Kronenbourg to represent the 3 Olympic medals (bronze for Calvados, silver for gin and gold for Kronenbourg), it's a winner that's for sure. By the way since my last visit, owner Marcus Mintoff, an old mucker of mine has fathered a lovely little boy with his adorable wife Gemma - see  picture exclusive pages 8. 9.10. a little Gem for Gemma. Anyway after six or seven Golden Showers and a natter with Marcus I regretfully have to move on, so many bars so little time...jiggy jiggy jiggy, joggy joggy joggy.

  ...and sports bar

Now here's a confession readers, after all that jigging and all that jogging on top of all that lager I began to feel a little uncle Dick I can tell you but being a true professional I continued my researches down the Gym and Tonic, a pucker new gymn and sports bar just off the Old Caledonian Road, where I was joined in a refreshing shower by a charming Nigerian gentleman, whom I swear must have been a relay runner because he couldn't wait to slip me his baton I can tell you. Well after that kind of work out and several of the gymn's fearsome sporting spritzers - vodka and creme de menthe- all topped off with sportz-kronenbourg lagers I was fitter than a plumbers mate and ready for a real sportsmans drink so where better to head off to than Dan's Discounteria and sports bar - the new hot shop for sporting hop heads in Covent Garden. Dan boasts the finest range of 'sporting goodies' in the country including over 100 different ales and lagers all specially brewed for the Olympics and a belting range of fags such as Double Gold Leaf, Double Golden Virginia and Double Gold Bensons - a top training academy for top UK athletes. Sadly, after having worked my way valiantly through over half his stock my phone rang and I was summoned back to HQ for a management meeting that had quite slipped my mind. 'Quelle Domage' as they say in France. What the management meeting was all about I'll let you know in the next issue of 'Wotcha' your number one delebrity read.

Until the next time

'Jazzy' Jane Hopworth

International Editor of 'Wotcha!'

PS: Don't forget in the next issue of your favourite D-lebrity read I'll be showing you how to wear your hair in a ponytail...Croydon stylee                    

                           Full photo exclusive!   

 For all that's best on Olympic TV why not turn to GAWP Britains favourite TV read                  

                           

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