Writing to Your Donor Family 

Deciding to write to your donor's family members is a very personal decision. Some recipients choose to write, while others do not.  Donor family members consistently express appreciation for the letters and cards they receive from recipients and their families.

If you do decide to write, remember these ideas:

• Write about yourself... first name only, about your job, going to school, your family and friends, your hobbies and interests.
• Write about your transplant..how long you waited and how it has changed your life.
• Be sensitive and use simple language...remember they are grieving the loss of a loved one and they deal with it in their own unique way.
• You may want to thank the donor family.
• Keep it anonymous and confidential...no last name, street address, city name, phone numbers, or names of hospitals or physcians. Your letter will be proofed by the OPO for any confidential information, and will be darkened out.

After you've completed your letter:

• Place the letter or card in an unsealed envelope.
• Include a separate sheet of paper with your full name, date of transplant, organ received, and transplant center.
• Mail the letter to either the OPO in your transplant center area, or give to your transplant coordinator at your transplant center.

All letters are reviewed to ensure confidentiality.  If you send the letter to  your transplant coordinator, they will forward it to the OPO. 

Some donor famil members may send a letter or card, others choose not to write at this time, others choose not to write - this is their personal decision.

Suggestions for Writing to Your Donor Family

Talk About Yourself

• Use only first names for yourself and others you mention;
• Include your state, age, job or occupation, hobbies or interests;
• Include your family situation: marital status, children or grandchildren (remember to use only first names);
• Be sensitive regarding religious comments and views;
• Talk about your transplant experience;
• Use simple language;
• Recognize your donor family and thank them for their gift;
• Describe how long you waited for a transplant and what the wait was like for you and your family;
• Explain how the transplant has improved your health and changed your life;
• Talk about the activities that you can now participate in that you couldn't participate in before the transplant; and
• Explain what has happened in your life since your transplant, e.g. celebrated another birthday or anniversary, got married, became a parent, returned to work or school.

Close Your Letter

• Sign your first name only;
• Do not include your address, city or telephone number; and
• Do not reveal the name or location of the hospital or doctor involved with the transplant.

Sample Donor Letter

Dear Donor Family:

I am the 28-year-old male who received the precious gift of lungs from your loved one. I know that there are no words that can truly express my feelings for your family; it takes a special kind of person to make such a sacrifice in their time of grief and need. I would like you to know that your loved one and your family are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I know I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me a second chance at life. I can promise you that I will try to live up to the example set by your loved one and help other people.

I thought you might like to know how things are going. The doctor says everything is progressing extremely well. I have had no signs of rejection and the lungs  are functioning extremely well. It has been about two months since the operation at the time I am writing this letter. I would have written sooner, but I wanted to make sure everything was working out so that I could show you what has been accomplished by your family’s decision to donate.

I would also like to say how sorry I am for your loss. I would give it all up to put your family all back together again. It is nice to know that there are such special people in this world who care about other people so much.

Saying thank you just doesn’t seem like enough when what somebody does is basically save your life. I sincerely hope that life treats your family to nothing but happiness and prosperity. If there is anything you would like to know about or from me, please don’t hesitate to ask. I just want to say thank you again.

God Bless You.

Signed,
One extremely grateful man.