Dealing with Fears

It is okay to be afraid.  It actually makes sense to be afraid when your well being, or someone you love is threatened.  For those dealing with many uncertainties  of a prolonged illness, or those waiting a heart or lung transplant, ongoing fear may take many forms: fear of losing control, fear of your family's well being, fear of pain, or fear of the future. It is possible to stop the fears from dominating your life. First you must admit the existence of each fear, then allow it to rise and, at times, further investigate it.

Facing Fear - you can learn to manage your fear by facing it head-on. One way to achieve this is by anchoring yourself in today. Don't let the fears of an unknown tomorrow keep you from experiencing the here and now. Externalization is a process of forming internal thoughts into physical images or words. Or writing them down in a journal. Seeing your fears on paper, helps to acknowledge the existence and gives them faces and identities. Externalization may create unsettling emotions, such as grief or rage.  Ultimately, however, you should be able to face your fears with honesty, strength and maybe humor.

Feeling Fear - When you run away from your worst fears, they tend to follow you relentlessly.  Sometimes fears seem overwhelming, but if you tap into your courage, much headway can be made.  Decide to be courageous for just this moment. Practice a courage ritual - like yoga, listen to music, garden or volunteer.  Other ways to tap into courage - Befriend Yourself - instead of labeling yourself as a coward, give yourself the reasurring support that you would give a best friend. Stop Telling the Same Story - If you imagine the same fear scenario, think of a different ending that is more positive.  Procrastinate -  Why panic today, when you can always worry tomorrow?

Transforming Fear - When you face and feel your fears, you may actually undergo a transformation. As you accept  your fears, you may move along a path towards contentment, compassion or faith. 

Invite Courage Into Your Life - From the moment you face your fears, courage begins to grow - you have the power to cultivate it.

Fear is natural, reasonable reaction to a threatening situation.  Instead of avoiding it, acknowledge your fear, encounter it and transform it. 

(Source: Facing Fear, Finding Courage: Your Path to Peace of Mind" by Sarah Quigley and Marilyn Shroyer, PhD)