What Is A Sponsor
A Sponsor is a more experienced member in the program who guides the newcomer through the process of recovery (should have 1 year or more in the program).
In 12 step circles, it is suggested that a sponsor should be of the same gender. The newcomer to the program is quite vulnerable; for some of us this is the first time we have expressed our true feelings, our secrets or our fears. Experience has shown that this new relationship with a member of the opposite gender could be misinterpreted and if acted upon could reduce chances for sustained recovery for both parties. It also will help to avoid gender based communication problems.
A Good Sponsor ~ should have A working knowledge of the 12 steps and 12 traditions, Personal experiences dealing with life in recovery, A willingness to listen, A willingness to help others by sharing their experiences, strengths and hopes, To guide a newcomer through the 12 steps based on their own experiences, To make suggestions and refrain from giving advice.
We should contact our sponsor when we need someone to talk to, or are unsure about decisions that have to be made. A sponsor helps with problems and questions not only when times are tough, but in the good times too. Or when something triggers a member to think about using again. A sponsor provides a listening ear and can act as a sounding board for major decisions to be made, but the sponsor does not make that decision, only guides the newcomer into making a sound decision
Sponsors do not give advice, they only make suggestions and can share what their feelings are and how they handled similar situations using the tools of recovery. If a sponsor cannot help in a particular area, a good sponsor will direct them to another person who can. It is the newcomers choice whether to act upon that decision or not. It is nice to share good news and victories with your sponsor.
Some principles both the sponsor and newcomer practice through developing this relationship are unconditional love, selfless giving, patience, tolerance, honesty and trust. A sponsor is an objective person on the outside looking in. They are able to see problem areas and maybe point them out before a person gets into trouble. Sponsors see how much a person has changed and gives encouragement along the way and a sponsor can help you stay focused on your recovery
Sponsors are equals on the road to recovery
Sponsorship is a two-way street.
You cannot keep what you have unless you give it away.
Sponsorship is like a Beacon in the Night, it is a vital tool to Recovery
Twelve Qualities of Sponsonsorshop
1. I will not help you stay and wallow in limbo.
2. I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.
3. I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.
4. I cannot give you dreams or "fix you up" simply because I can not.
5. I can not give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.
6. I can not take away your loneliness or your pain.
7. I can not sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your own world in which you must live.
8. I can not convince you of the necessity to make the vital decision of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing over the safe misery of remaining static.
9. I want to be with you and know you as a rich and growing friend; yet I can not get close to you when you choose not to grow.
10. When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me.
11. You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow.
12. If you can accept this, then perhaps we can help each other to become what God meant us to be, mature adults, leaving childishness forever to the little children of the world.
