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Forgotten
I think to deal with something as complexed and daunting as M.E takes guts, and i think the disease alone could 'tip you over the edge'. In a way, when the disease practically takes you away from society, it tales away the adversity that burns your ears, the tempermant of the cynics, the realisation that not everybody cares, and the independance that is taken away.
For many with M.E, it takes away the majority of your independace, it borrows your dreams for while, it borrows away all your ever longed for, it borrows your spirit. I say borrow because truthfully, you'll get it back.
Whilst delving in the darkest parts of M.E, your out on your own. You may have a supportive family - maybe even a doctor, but M.E is all about you - the sufferer. I doubt there is anybody more important in M.E than yourself. Ourselves we cannot make ourselves better, treat or manage ourselves. But we contain the positivity and courage to fight this disease, fighting being live with it. We are all survivors.
When your lying in your bed during the day and night - and you hear a car go past or children giggling, it intrigues you. Part of you wants to get up and look out the window, part of you is too scared, the reality sets in. Gradually you begin to wander into your thoughts, mine where mainly about what i was missing; my friends. I always thought to myself 'I wonder what their doing right now', i always wanted to stand in the rain chatting with my friends, i always wanted to be one of them. But i wasnt, in my mind i was forgotten.
With M.E, i was living for myself, i needed to wake up - so i could show everybody i was ok, 'Nothing of interest here ... move on ...', every day in my dark room was scary, everyday in that bed was scary.
'Behind the door are three red coats, the room is a mess, the curtains drawn ... on the bed is a girl, she is grimicing in pain, her mum can't do anything to ease the pain. That girl is me, but it isn't is it? Its M.E'
M.E never was always good, but the rewards that came were never what i expected. I lived every day in hope that i hadn't been forgotten, and that i had a chance to 'make it'. I never was forgotten and i did make it.
You've helped others now help M.E
