Interview with Ronald

OK, ladies. You've been waiting a loooooong time for this. Can you feel it? I know I'm excited! Here he is, the one and only, the sexy, the gorgeous, RONALD!!

 

Ronald: Bugger off!!!

Alki: Ronald! I'm a huge fan!

Ronald: Really? My name isn't Ron-

Alki: You're my number one, baby. Mind if I interview you?

Ronald: I don't see why not..... *Smooths hair*

Alki: Ok then! *Suddenly a huge set appears with chairs and cameras*

Ronald: What? I thought it was going to be more...... intimate *winks*

Alki: I'm afraid not, my precious. You see, I'm from Yesse, and we want to dedicate a page to YOU!

Ronald: I've been on Yesse...... isn't that the really weird site with limericks..... *Realisation hits him* Oh GOD! This isn't another 'When Alki met......' is it? *backs away*

Alki: No, silly. You must be mistaken. We're a mellow purist site, dedicated to taking the hotties to the public.

Ronald: So what's in that bag? *points to a moving sack, with muffled screams of 'Lemme out, Alki, this isn't funny!'*

Alki: Never you mind! *Kicks sack. It whimpers and curls into a ball*

Ronald: So...... what do you want to ask?

Alki: Firstly, has anyone ever told you that you look like a sponge?

Ronald: A sponge?

Alki: Yes, a sponge. Are you part sponge?

Ronald: No! I had an unfortunate incident..... a crazed fan set fire to me by accident.

Alki: Bastards! *looks v. shifty*

Ronald: I know, I know, but I've heard that surgery has taken a revolutionary turn......

Alki: I wouldn't change a thing about you *Pats his head. He notices her Yesse t-shirt*

Ronald: You are from Yesse! You set fire to me!

Alki: No. No I didn't.

Ronald: You did! You were the one who put laxatives in my tea!

Alki: Well, maybe a couple-

Ronald: You were the one who sent the napalm-o-grams to my house!

Alki: *snickering* I had no idea they'd send leprechauns... But it was all in good fun, eh?

Ronald: You.... you....

Alki: Yeh, and you love Yesse, don't you. *Silence* DON'T YOU!!

Ronald: No!!

Alki: WHAT??

Ronald: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!! *Draws sword*

Alki: That's the spirit...... *notices sword* Oh...... bollocks. And that, folks, concludes our interview with Ronald.

Ronald: MY NAME ISN'T RONALD!!

*Starts chasing her. They both run off into the distance*

Frodo: *From inside the sack* Hello? Alki? Can I come out now? Hello?

 

THE END