The Peso Diaries
"On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog."Peter Steiner
Most current entry is at the bottom of the page.
**An index of previous diaries may be found here. All documents open in Word format. If you don't have Word, a download of a Word Viewer can be obtained from Microsoft for free.**
July 2008
^^ I've had a little vacation while Mom spent most of June away from home because of family concerns. Mom had also really screwed up her laptop before she left, so I couldn't use it. I have some difficulty getting on the desktop computer - the first obstacle being the gate in the doorway to the room. So now I'll try to go back to my schedule of writing in my dogary, which depends a bit on what the crazy humans and my half-wit canine companions do to write about! I'll share some of the things I overheard Mom tell Dad about her trip in the next few entries. Today, though, I have something else to share.
Mom had to leave the house. She did her normal routine of calling us for a "Count Off!" to make sure we're all inside before she locks the house up. All I have to hear is the "ka" sound of count off to run as fast as I can to Mom and sit my butt down (something Mom requires before giving us a treat). I heard Mom counting under her breath, "six, seven eight...Count Off Everybody!...six, seven eight..." Then I heard her sadly say, "Oh." I guess she was waiting for Noel to show up and then remembered Noel had passed on. I felt badly for Mom, so I was thinking I could eat a second treat in remembrance of Noel. Mom just didn't see it that way. I was just trying to pay my respects. Later, Peso.
^^ Mom was telling Dad about the time she recently spent at our aunties house in South Carolina. Auntie has three dogs and a cat. The dogs consist of two poodles and a daschund. The poodles names are Spot (even though he has no spots. Her son just wanted a dog named Spot) and Daisy. The daschund is named Delores. Spot and Daisy were the first dogs. Auntie says that when she brought Delores home as a puppy, Delores ran over to Spot, smelled him and then bit him on his manly part. Delores has had the upper paw ever since.
The cat is named Howard. He stands at the door to let auntie know that he needs to go outside to do his duties. Then he politely stands at the door, waiting to be let in. Mom says he's a nice cat except for one thing: when Howard wants dinner, he bites people on the shin. Hey, I've never thought of biting the humans on their shins or feet to let them know I want to eat. Mom says that Howard may have trained auntie to feed him when he bites, but there's no way Mom would fall for that if any of we canines tried it. In fact, it might create the opposite effect - no food. I can't risk that chance, so no biting for me. Later, Peso.
^^ Mom's niece and nephew were upset that Mom didn't bring Pansy and Zach with her when she visited their house. They told Mom that she can't come back unless she brings at least one dog. Mom says that ain't gonna happen 'cuz it costs too much to fly us home. I don't know why it costs the same amount of money to fly a big dog home as it does to fly a little dog home. We hardly take up any space - plus we qualify as a carry on. We'd have to stay underneath the seat in front of Mom. How rude! I wouldn't want to be stuck on a plane at the level of all those stinky feet. If I ran Peso Airlines, dogs would sit in the seats and humans would have to stay on the floor. I would have employees come around and hand out treats and water. I think I might even figure out a way to keep the windows open so dogs could hang their head out and feel the wind blowing through their fur. I think I have a great idea there. I wonder why Mom says she won't buy me a plane... Later, Peso.
^^ I have to confess - as much as Mom bugs me sometimes, I sure am happy when she returns after being gone for awhile. I literally squeal when Mom walks in the door. Mom says I sound just like the baby pigs they used to have on the farm. 'Scuze me, don't go comparing me to some pig. Pigs like to roll in stuff, eat a lot and pick fights with each other. Now, does that sound at all like me? Later, Peso.
^^ Dad likes water fountains. He has had several outside. Now he wants to put some water fountains inside the house. He says the noise of the water is soothing and relaxing. If you ask me, he doesn't need to go through all the hassle of putting up indoor fountains. Paco and Zach would be more than willing to make some trickling liquid sounds indoors. It would be a nice yellow color, too. Of course, Mom probably wouldn't find that so relaxing. In fact, I think it would have the opposite effect on Mom. She would get upset. I have learned long ago to try to not upset Mom. Treats become fewer and farther between when Mom's perturbed with us. You know how I depend on treats to keep from starving and wasting away to skin and bones... Later, Peso.
^^ Ha, ha, ha. Hee, hee, hee. For once, it's not me being put on a diet. Mom thinks Zach is getting a little heavy. His treats have been limited. (The sad truth is that Zach usually gets more treats 'cuz he's in Mom's lap so much.) I have offered, once again, to do my part by eating the extra treats, but once again, Mom is not accepting my line of thinking. Mom says I'm at a good weight now and we're going to try to keep it that way. What's the "we're" business? I don't see that this is a joint effort. This is all one sided and mean old Mom has the upper hand (literally - have you noticed that human's hands are way up in the air?). Later, Peso.
All contents copyrighted to Chinut TM/Liz Randall, 2008