Step Six
Openly share appropriately, atone when necessary and possible, and let go of past hurts.
We can journal and we can pray, but the ways in which we can share openly is on the phone, on-line, and with a PSF or therapist. By telling others what messages, thoughts, and feelings we receive from our negative mind, we are tattling on it, which disarms it. When we admit out loud to others the exact nature of our shortcomings and ways in which we've lived in an unhealthy manner, and realize that we're not alone in our regrets and mistakes, the power of them over our lives and feelings begin to diminish. We are given hope that we can rise above them and move on.
To atone helps us to become "at-one" with those we've hurt, including ourselves. Becoming at one with our inner source of strength or positive energy helps us live in the actual mind by gaining strength over the negative mind.
To restore relationships, or at least to "clean up our side of the street", we need to apologize directly to those we've hurt. Sometimes making amends is not feasible for one reason or another. We need to find a way to let that go.
Sometimes the apology we offer won't be accepted. That is now the other person's concern. We have no control over that.
Sometimes an indirect, or "living" amends is more appropriate than a spoken apology. We may simply choose to begin treating someone with more respect and kindness, or in a more healthy manner.
We can atone with ourselves by participating in our recovery. Instead of being habitually self-critical, we can affirm ourselves with positive messages and simply practice self-acceptance by observing our actions rather than judging them. By remembering that we don't have to be perfect and by giving ourselves permission to make mistakes, we atone with ourselves.
We may be harboring anger and resentments over hurts afflicted upon us. Perhaps we still feel like a victim instead of a survivor. We need to find a way to let go of the past because it can eat away at us. Forgiveness may not be a possibility, but grieving over and then rising above others' violations is necessary for freeing ourselves from their control and gaining the ability to move ahead with our lives.
We need to atone for our shortcomings and let go of past hurts so we can move forward. Begin where you are, where you can. These Steps are a process, to be worked through again and again, each time going a little deeper into your soul.
To whom and for what do I need to make amends?
Whom have I hurt or what have I done for which it is no longer possible to apologize directly?
What can I do to help me feel as though I've atoned for that ?
What transgressions have been imposed upon me which still have a hold of my feeings?
How can I learn to begin to let go of the past, perhaps even forgive those who have hurt me (including myself)?
How do I feel about sharing openly?
