STEP TWO
Accept that I need help.
Apparently, we cannot change our unhealthy behavior by willpower alone; we have tried. We may do fairly well for a while only to return to the old, familiar, unhealthy habits. Being unable to get better by ourselves means that we need help.
There is one danger of accepting help that we need to be aware of; relying too heavily on others (such as hospitals) to care for us, giving up the responsibility of caring for ourselves. This is also unhealthy behavior.
The thought of accepting help can be scary. We may be afraid that by accepting help we will be told what to do. We want to be in control of our own lives and not told what to do. We may be afraid that one's offer of help would result in one's desire to change who we are. If we were to get help and get better, we'd have to lose the identity of being a disordered eater.
We may be afraid of the recovery help may bring. That fear may be rooted in the belief that recovery would mean giving up the lifestyle to which we've become accustomed, that giving up that lifestyle might cause a change in weight, feeling a loss of having control, and confusion over what to do with our time. If not busy with food and how to get it, avoid it, or get rid of it, what does one do? We may wonder what we'd do to pass the time when bored, how we'd celebrate when happy, or how we'd comfort ourselves when feeling sad, angry, hurt, or frustrated. We may not know any other way nor feel strong enough to face all those feelings and changes.
We may also be afraid that help might keep us from being or feeling independent and may prevent our ability to care for ourselves. But we haven't been caring for ourselves. We've been treating ourselves very poorly. We know it isn't right; we know it is dangerous, we know we should stop, but we don't.
We'll know we're ready for Step Two and accept that we need help when we decide to call someone before doing something unhealthy, or when we're unsure of how we'll handle a situation and want to commit to someone a healthy plan.
In what ways have I tried to change by my willpower alone?
How do I feel about accepting help?
Of what specifically am I afraid?
