Holiday Hints for Widows

From Annie and some of FWO's Widows

For Christmas, or your worst holiday, keep telling yourself to "just get through it!"
You don't have to enjoy it or even pretend to...you just have to get through it.
 

If you can, find someone in your neighborhood who needs your help.
Helping others can help us as much as the recipient.
 

If it is just your own little family, you may decide to scrap family traditions
that hurt too much and make new traditions that feel right for you.

Buy yourself something nice that he might have given you as a gift.

Plan some time alone with a glass of wine or a cup of cocoa,
and remember all your previous holidays when you were part of a couple.

If you know other widows nearby, plan a Widows' Holiday Pity Party.
Which can tell the most dismal story, or play the saddest song? All
will understand if there are tears, but there are bound to also be grins.

If you cannot get away during the holidays, plan a trip for soon after.
Planning and packing may help you keep from dwelling on your aloneness.

If you have children, make a scrapbook for each of them about their father
as your gift to them. Include as many happy photos and memorabilia as you can.
You can finish it after the holidays if time gets too short to do a nice job.

Whack your "to do list" down to essentials. Do those and keep yourself
from feeling guilty that you aren't doing it all. Just "be." Don't try to "be perfect."

If you are with family, make a point of saying a few words before dinner? about your
late husband, and ask everyone to join you in saying a little prayer or reading a poem.

Try not to over do, trying to make the holiday perfect for everyone.
It won't do anyone any good if you end up sick in bed or a nervous wreck.

Make an effort to dress yourself up a little even if you don't feel like it.
Looking good helps us feel good...and vice versa, of course.

Postpone major decisions and problem-solving until after the holidays.
Anything that CAN wait, SHOULD wait until the holiday pressure is over.

The next day, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back.

YOU DID IT!