1. You have a replica of the One Ring which you will let no one touch or even look at, hanging around your neck every waking moment
2. You honestly wish that you had pointy ears
3. Your friends are very careful not to say the words, ”lord” “ring” “arrow” “sword” “ranger” or possibly “Orlando” around you for fear of a long speech about the importance of each of these things in Lord of the Rings, such as-
4. When you talk about something Lord of the Rings related, you get so excited that you cannot use whole sentences at a time, or you break into constant giggle fits.
5. When your ‘friend’ says something bad about Lord of the Rings, you kick them or throw them into a trashcan.
6. After you threw them in a trash can, you muttered, “fool of a Took…”
7. You took those antique porcelain figures your grandmother gave you off of your display case and put your Lord of the Rings figurines there, instead.
8. When your brother tried to touch a figurine, you broke into a violent rampage.
9. You spend hours at a time online. Learning elvish.
10. You know who Shelob or Denethor is and it’s not December of 2003 yet.
11. You cried when The Two Towers was over. Right in the theater.
12. When you had the stomach flu, you stared at the ceiling and wished Aragorn were there to make you feel better.
13. Your dad, who hasn’t even read the books, knows every line of the Fellowship of the Ring by heart from walking past you watching it over and over and over…
14. You find yourself writing 12 pages on the importance of Legolas in school instead of that 2-page essay for History that’s due.
15. You understand what ‘tig’ or ‘cup’ is, and you find it extremely amusing if someone says one of these words.
16. You needed to buy new notebooks every two months in school because all of the pages were doodled on. See? There’s a giant spider. See it? And there’s an arrow and a bow, and Look! There’s a hobbit!
17. Your review of TTT got in the newspaper and you were convinced that the photographer that came to take your picture was related to Denethor.
18. When someone tells you that you could actually be an author, you start thinking, “Just like Tolkien!”
19. You think that Harry Potter is a baby book after reading Lord of the Rings a few times… or more… *ahem*
20. When you listen to music other than Lord of the Rings related, you pick up on the slightest similarities between the two, and visualize the scene where that music was. Ways to Freak People out with Lord of the Rings
When you and your parents go to bed, or when you are at a sleep over and everyone is preparing to go to sleep, pick up your flashlight and yell"The Light of Galadriel!!"
Tell people how you need sword lessons(in case of Orcs)
Put the lotr soundtrack on the massive speakers and blast it out at full volume, best when done late at night, when family is trying to sleep, or when all your friends are crammed into your car.
Mutter about precious constantly and accuse your parents or friends of stealing your ring whenever it is lost.
Sneak up behind your family or friends and do your best impression of a Nazgul scream
At odd and random intervals, yell, "Frodo lives!" or "Run Frodo Run!" or various other quotes from the movie. Just slip then in in random conversations.
Whenever you are served some kind of food that looks questionable, or that you hate, mutter "What is this new devilry?"
When someone asks you to get something, tell them this is an important quest and you can't do it alone, or better yet, say "I will do it! I will find the (insert item here)... although I do not know where it is."
Whenever your family, or your friends go to the beach, make them sing Legolas' song of the sea all the way there. If they don't know it, teach them line by line and make them sing it over and over again. Also sing Bilbo's traveling song on long trips.
When anyone falls and hurts themselfs yell, " Kingsfoil, we must get Kingsfoil!"
Keep imitating the frodo dance (the one that looks remarkably like the funky chicken...)
When someone asks you to pass the salt/pepper say "If you want it come and claim it!!", or if you want someone to pass it to you, yell "HAND ME THE SALT, SHE ELF!!!" (best done in a crowded resturaunt)
Start chanting Arwen's spell whenever you're mad at someone
Use various stairs to re-enact that Moria scene
Use your little brothers/sisters or smaller friends as dwarves, for dwarve tossing contests
Speak only in Elvish, refuse to answer to any other languge.
Come up with Elvish, Dwarvish, or Hobbitish names for your friends and family, and only call them by those names.
Dye your bedsheets black to complete your Nazgul costume
Generally act like gollum
Quote tolkien continuously, endlessly, compare every little thing to tolkien, and, if you can't think of any link, just say "It reminds me of Numenor"
Scream out loud 'MY PRECIOUS' to your parents when they take something from you or you want something
Whenever someone wants to get in a door, stand in front of it and say "The Doors of the Lord of Moria( Can't really remember what it says) Speak, Friend and Enter."
Wear your ring and when anyone talks to you tell them, "I'm Invisible, You can't see me!!
Actually eat elevenses and second breakfast. Ask everybody else to join you
When doing improv for play tryouts, immediatly go into a scene from the movie(I.E."I ain't droppin' no eaves, sir, honest!...I heard a good deal about a ring, and a dark lord, and something about the end of the world. Please don't hurt me, sir, don't turn me into anything *gulp* unnatural.")
When people ask whats written on your ring tell them in black speech (Ash nak...) (This one really doesn't sound funny until you actuallly do it.)
Make a model of mt. doom with mashed potatoes and lots of ketchup.
Get a friend, grab a transcript, and read through the entire movie in a public place. Make sure that your Gandalf-in-Moria voice is really loud, and light something on fire for the balrog.
Whenever your parents leave the house, cry, "You need someone of intelligence on this sort of . . . mission . . . quest . . . thing!" Then jump in the car. About half way there, ask, "Where we goin'?"
Next time you get in trouble with your parents, haughtily reply to them, "Gondor has no parents. Gondor needs no parents."
Next time you are late for something, and someone yells at you, say, "I am never late. Nor am I early. I arrive precisely when I mean to."
Jump on people's backs and yell, "Noro lim, Asfaloth, noro lim!"
When training your basket ball team and as the coach in the upbringing of thier spirits for the goal contantly yell "over the Bridge...!! fly!!..Fy you fools!!"
When someone has to urgently visit the bathroom step in front of them and bellow loudly much like Gandalf did before falling "You shall not Pass!!.
As soon as your school bell rings yell loudly for everyone present round you to hear "It's the Horn of Gondor!!" then run to class madly like your life depends on it.
When a pigeon poops on your shoulder and your standing next to someone embarassed yell "It's Sauruman!!"
Aways go out with a bow and a bunch of arrows pose with your arrows drawn like legolas in packed public places.
When you ever get caught sneaking out of the house with your friend by your parents yell loudly "Make for the gap of the Rohan"
You try to stike up conversation with passing trees.
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