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I'm scared," Banta said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife."
"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."
"Easy for you to say."
"You like her that much?" the friend asks.
"It's not that," declared Banta. "He didn't sign his name!"
Santa calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help ! My wife`s going into labor!"
The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child ?"
He says, "No! This is her husband!"
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious
differences..... He thought he was God and I didn't..
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend
on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal
to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out
alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk
to me.
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are
missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to
Be When I Grew up.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a
cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
already taken.
25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
dead.
26.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it
uses up three thousand times the memory.
27.. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a
lifetime commitment for a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is there's no background
music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a
Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is
going on
AIK GHAAIB DIMAGH TEACHER LAB MAIN AIK FROG KA OPERATION KAR RAHE HOTE HAIN.WOH FROG KO TRAY PE RAKH KAR ZOR SE CLAPPING KARTE HAIN TO FROG ZOR SE JUMP KARTA HAI,
PHIR WOH FROG KI AIK LEG CUT KARTE HAIN TO FROG ZARA KAM JUMP KARTA HAI, PHIR WOH FROG KI 2ND LEG BHI CUT KARTE HAIN TO ISS DORAN FROG MAR JATA HAI LEKIN FROG JUMP
NAHIN KARTA TO WOH TEACHER APNI DIARY MAIN YEH NOTE KARTE HAIN KE AGAR FROG KI DONO LEGS CUT KARDEN TO FROG " BEHRA " HO JATA HAI.
aik batsman bohat kush tha ke kafi dair se creez pe khara hai Lbw ki teen zordar appeals bowler ki taraf se ho chuki theen laikin umpire ne unhe no bowl qarar diya
aakhir aik shandar bowl karwaee bowler ne to do stumps ukhar gaien bowler ne batsman ko ghor se dekha aur kaha ke, "mera khayal hai ke tum ab bhi nahin jaogay kiyunki
aik stump ab bhi baqi hai.
Biwi shohar say...daikhain main aap kay liay kitna acha roomal laai hoon... shohar yay 6 gaz ka kapra laai ho tum roomal kay liay...biwi koi baat nahee jo kapra bach
jaiy ga us say main apna suit bana loon gi....
A news reporter gets news taht 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at <st1:City><st1:place>Amritsar</st1:place></st1:City> station. Only one sardar left alive.<o:p></o:p> The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?Sardar: oh ji pucho mat...sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform per khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Acchanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM par aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri per kood <st1:City><st1:place>gaya</st1:place></st1:City>. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.reporter: Thank god... Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par koode.Sardar: oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri per hi leta tah. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad <st1:City><st1:place>gaya</st1:place></st1:City>..
Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha, Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Kasam, Bohat Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!Aik biwi nay sharmatay hooay apnay shohar say kaha kay hamaray ghar main aik naya mehman aanay wala hay....shohar nay khoosh
hotay hooay poocha kub, kub..biwi boli kay kal sham Ammi aarahi hain <st1:City><st1:place>Lahore</st1:place></st1:City> say...
A mobile is like a woman. . . . talk's non stop, cost a fortune, disturbs you when you are busy, and when you need them urgently,
they have no service.<o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p>
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