HOSTING GUIDELINES

(Suggest copying these for reference and ease of reading)

We at ‘SCHOOL OF THE PROPHETS’ welcome you to the position of ‘host’ . ‘Sanity Is Overrated’ was formed as a caring support room for anyone with depression or related issues, but all are welcome. As a ‘host’, you have a responsibility to ‘help’ with this support. This posting is to give you some idea of those responsibilities. This is merely a guide, ‘issues’ may occur that are not covered here, and some of the issues that are covered are ‘gray‘ areas. This posting may seem long, but most of it is common sense, and one of the most important things we can advise you on is to use common sense. If you are new to ‘hosting’, look to Gold ‘hosts’ or other Brown ‘hosts’ you have seen who have experience. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, as a ‘host’ you do not need to ask permission to whisper another host with those questions. Do not hesitate to ask questions, communicating among ourselves is one of our most powerful tools. Depending on the circumstances, there might be up to six or seven ‘hosts’ in the room at the same time. When the number of participants drops, a ‘Gold’ host may ask you to ‘drop’ your ‘hammer’. This is not because we do not appreciate your help, but we have seen that too many hosts in a room has a tendency to ‘scare’ people away. If you make a mistake, do not fret over it, you, too, are merely human. Those of us with experience may come to you in Whisper and ‘advise’ you at times, please understand we are not doing this to ‘correct’ you, we are communicating.

TRY TO GREET EVERYONE - - It is very discouraging to come to a support room and be ignored. If you are having a ‘friendly’ conversation with someone, then a person needing help may leave because no one responded to their presence. This is not written in stone, as some hosts have a ‘knack’ for supporting several people at the same time and may be engaged in doing just that as ‘support’.

TRY NOT TO OVERWHELM SOMEONE - - This frequently happens when someone comes in using red font and asks in the room how to change it. Often, as many as six people speak up at once to try to explain, and this can be very confusing to someone new to chat.

NO RED FONT - - Many of our members are recovering from ‘self harm’ issues and red can be a trigger for them. Ask a person using red font to please change their font. If they ask why, explain, but if they argue about it, give a second warning, such as (This is your second warning to change your font). If they refuse or ignore you, kick them from the room. IF THEY ASK HOW TO CHANGE FONT, the font change is in Chat Options. Sometimes people try to change the font and it doesn’t seem to work, they must go to the bottom of the Chat Options page and click Done for the change to ‘take’.

NO CONTINUOUS USE OF CAPS - - This is like shouting for attention. (Common sense here, people do use caps occasionally...especially if they are seeking help and feel they are being ignored. . but also in the course of casual conversation as an expression of strong emotion)

NO NICKNAMES THAT ARE DISTRACTING, OBSCENE, OR REFER TO SELF HARM - - (Common sense again, some nicknames are borderline.) Ask the offensive person to leave and change their nickname to something less offensive, but this is not negotiable. If they refuse to leave and change nickname, kick.

NO FIGHTING IN THE ROOM - - People are after all, human. If a fight occurs, ask that the people involved take it to whisper, as it disrupts the room. If they insist on continuing, or argue with you, a suggestion is to give a second warning. Please, do not argue with people in the room. “He said, she said’s“, can be taken to whisper (or IM if several individuals are involved), you may have to mediate this.

NO BERATING OTHERS IN THE ROOM - - It is very disrupting to see someone tell of another persons problems. Our purpose is to support people, not ‘cut them down.’ If this occurs, warn the person that this is not allowed in the room and that if they do it again, they will be kicked without warning. If it occurs a second time, kick the person. This is an exception to the two warning rule. Some people like to get two ‘hits’ in, knowing that a two warning system exists in many rooms. Please do not be afraid of ‘hurting’ someone who berates others by telling them to stop, if an incident does occur, everyone in the room has already been harmed.

PARKING IS ALLOWED - - We do not kick people for parking as some people need time to feel comfortable in the room. However, as a host, you might infrequently whisper a ‘parked’ person to ask if they are all right. If a parked person does not answer you, they might be in whisper, too, and have their whisper turned off, ask another host for advice.

NO PREACHING OR PRAYERS IN ROOM - - It is all right for someone to ask ‘can I say a prayer for you tonight?’, but no preaching or prayers in the room. Warn twice (if necessary) then kick.

ASK PERMISSION IN ROOM BEFORE WHISPERING - - WHEN THE ROOM IS ‘HOPPING’ TRY TO POST THIS MESSAGE ABOUT EVERY HALF HOUR, MORE OFTEN IF YOU FEEL IT NECESSARY - - This primarily applies to regular room members, as sometimes ‘hosts’ need to be free to respond to another ’host’s’ whisper pertaining to a problems that the other ‘host’ may not want to bring into the open, for example, unwelcome whispers, multiple whispers, or someone ‘preaching‘ in whisper (these are just examples, many other things can happen). Also, some hosts do not mind answering whispers without being asked in the room. If someone comes to you or posts in the room that another member is whispering them without asking, post in the room that message that we ask before whispering others. This will usually stop the problem, however, we do get troublemakers who ‘hit’ on others, if this becomes apparent, warn the person, and if it does not stop, warn the person a second time. If it still does not stop, kick the person (until you become familiar with hosting, it would be best to confer with a gold hammer or another brown hammer who has been in the room for a longer period of time before kicking someone). However, there are instances where the person accused will deny whispering. Cases like these can often be handled by asking the person accusing to copy and post the ‘unwelcome’ whisper to you in whisper. Guests...IE people who are using WebTV, cannot copy and paste. Here, you must use your judgment, as there are several ways to handle this. One is that you can ask one or both members to leave. Another method is to tell the accuser to ignore the other person. Yet another is to whisper the offender and tell them that they are being accused and ask them about it. If these Guests insist on continuing an argument about it, and do so in the room, you can kick. However, Guests cannot be kept from the room and can return at will. Only people without guest before their name can be kicked for permanent periods.

WHISPERING - - This is a gray area. Many times a newcomer asks to whisper a host and the host finds that the newcomer has serious problems and a need for a one-on-one talk that can last a very long time. If you find yourself in this position, put your cup on. If it appears you will be unable to help in the room for a while, please inform a ‘gold’ host. Please understand too that a ‘Gold’ host may ask you to drop your ‘hammer’ for that period, as the ‘Gold’ may need to appoint an additional host. Often many hosts are needed by newcomers and four or five hosts in ‘cups’ can be distracting and discourage other newcomers.

KICKING/TAGGING - -

HOW TO: To ‘kick‘ a person from the room, right click on that person’s name and a list will appear. Kick appears near the middle of the list. Click on Kick and another screen appears on the immediate right with four choices. The first three choices kick the person from the room for the moment only, they can return immediately if they want to. Use one of these first three choices first! Click on the last choice and a screen appears in the upper left corner of your screen-you can type a message (if you have time) explaining why the kick, click time period-fifteen minutes, one hour, or 24 hours, then enter. A Gold ‘host’ may offer to let you try this on them to see how it is done, as a brown ‘host’ cannot kick a ‘gold.’

REASONINGS: Please remember that people with ‘issues’ other than depression may need handled with ‘kid gloves’, and that some have aggressive personalities. The use of the ignore function is one way to handle troublemakers that allows us not to use the ‘Kick’ function. If at all possible, do not kick people, use this is a last resort. However, there are cases in which it is obvious that an immediate ‘kick’ is necessary, as when someone comes to the room and posts profanity or nasty things about others specifically, or in general. Virtually the only way to handle Guest ‘troublemakers’ if they come back after you have kicked them once, is to inform the room to put the troublemaker on ignore. Try to avoid kicking a Guest more than once, as the message that comes across the screen is in red, and too many notices of kicking can be a trigger for some of our room members.

HOSTING OTHERS - - Common sense is best here. Look for people who show a caring, responsible attitude toward helping others. If the person is new to hosting, take them aside in whisper and ask if they are willing to help by becoming a host, if they have any questions, this would be a good time to answer them. Suggest, too, that if they are not a member of the community that they might wish to join, and as a member, they will have access to the hosting guidelines to be read at their leisure.

COMMUNITY LINK - - You do not have to be a member of the community to get access to this link, but it makes it much easier to access. If you are a member and have the link if Favorites, you can access the community through a secondary window. Click on More Rooms. When the secondary screen finishes loading, go to the bottom of that screen and click on People & Chat. This loads a screen that has the community listed on the right side. Click on the community. After the community loads, right click on the community link (in the white typing bar at the top), then click on copy. At this time you can either close the secondary link, or shrink it (if you shrink it and lose the copy, you can resize it and copy it again), then, put your cursor back in the typing space for the chat room, right click, and paste. The link to the community will appear in the typing space for you to enter into the chat. IF YOU ARE NOT A COMMUNITY MEMBER, you can access the community link by More Rooms, People & Chat, then on the right side is a typing bar, type the community name exactly as shown . . !(!(Sanity Is Overrated)!)! and enter. The community will load, follow the copy instructions above.

Having a hammer, you are very visible and thus are open to people’s complaints, blames, and biases. You are following guidelines set forth for the protection of everyone, not just specific individuals. If someone does ‘blast’ you in the room, remember, berating others is not allowed, tell them this and kick if necessary. This may seem overwhelming at first, but most of it is common sense. As a host, you have a responsibility to the purpose of the room, as much as possible, try to ask newcomers how they are doing or what’s up, anything that lets them know you are there to help them. Remember that some people may not respond, and that is all right. Be careful that you do not get caught up in a casual conversation in the room and appear to ignore ‘newcomers’, however, you do not have to ‘entertain’ newcomers because they are lonely. If a newcomer says they need to talk because they are lonely, suggest they join the conversation, ask if anyone else in the room will talk with them, or suggest that they seek a different, casual chat. Communication is a huge key to success, remember, you, too, are human and you will make mistakes, and you might need to take a break from hosting. Please tell a ‘Gold‘ host if you need a break, this allows a Gold to find a replacement if needed. If a ‘gold’ hammer or another host whom you know has experience in the room, and you have ‘taken on more’ than you can handle, whisper that person and ask for help. You might also suggest to the person you are talking with that they talk with someone with more experience. When you have a ‘hosting’ related problem, whisper another host or ‘gold’ without asking permission, we need anonymity in many instances. If you are new and go to whisper with someone who needs help, it is polite to put your cup on. If you are going to be ‘out’ of the room for an extended period, it is advisable to take yourself off of your ‘host’ position by right clicking on your name, and clicking on participant. Often, upon return, another host will recover your ‘hammer’ for you. Remember that one of the most important things for you to do, is to use common sense.

Thank you for your help.