[after a shipwreck]
Beni: Hey, O'Connell! Looks to me like I've got all the horses.
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river.

Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.

[Rick is about to be hanged]
Hangman: Any last requests, pig?
Rick: Yeah. Loosen the knot and let me go.
[the hangman says something to the warden in Arabic]
Warden Gad Hassan: [Angrily] Yahemar! Of course we don't let him go!

Rick: I've been to Hamunaptra.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.

[after a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time]
Rick: That happens a lot around here.

Winston: So, what does your little problem have to do with his Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died. Why should you be any different?

Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: They do?

Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?
Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after.

Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everyone, what makes you so special?
Evelyn: I'm your sister.
Jonathan: That just makes you more gullible.

Rick: I only gamble with my life, never my money.

Rick: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.
Rick: [throwing her overboard] Trust me, it calls for it.

[Evie is drunk]
Evelyn: I bet you're thinking, what's a place like me doing in a girl like this?
Rick: Something like that, yeah

Rick: [In a sing-song, child-like voice, after slamming Beni against the wall] You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't ya, Beni?

[Upon opening the tomb]
Evelyn: I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick: You dream about dead guys?

Winston: What's the plan?
Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.

Mr. Henderson: Get me a shot of bourbon, and a glass of bourbon, and a bourbon chaser.

Evelyn: By the way, why did you kiss me?
Rick: I don't know. I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Evelyn: Ooh!
[gets up and walks away in a huff]
Rick: [Calling after her] What? What did I say?

Rick: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
Rick: You don't have any children
Beni: Someday I might.

Rick: So what's the scam, Beni? You take them out into the middle of the desert and then you leave 'em to rot?
Beni: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo, so this time I must go all the way.
Rick: Them's the breaks, huh?

[Hamunaptra is about to be destroyed]
Rick: Time to go.

Rick: That's called "stealing," you know.
Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."

Dr. Bey: We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from ever being reborn into this world.
Ardeth Bay: Now, thanks to you, we have failed.
Evelyn: And you think that justifies the killing of innocent people?
Dr. Bey: To stop this creature? Let me think...
Dr. Bey, Ardeth Bay: YES!

Rick: You're gonna get yours, Beni. You hear me? You're gonna get yours.
Beni: Oh, like I've never heard *that* before.

Rick: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.
Rick: Not right now it isn't.

Beni: Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality... and for your eyes... and for your tongue... but I'm afraid more is needed.

Beni: Mr. Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality.
Mr. Burns: No.
Beni: And for your eyes, and your tongue.
Mr. Burns: Wha?
Beni: But I'm afraid more is needed. The prince must finish the job. And consummate the curse which you and your friends have brought down upon yourselves.

Beni: As long as I serve him, I am immune.
Rick: Immune from what?
Beni: Piszkas allat.
Rick: What did you say?
Beni: I don't want to tell you. You'll just hurt me some more.

Rick: So let me get this straight, they reducted your guts and they stuffed them in jars?
Evelyn: And they took out your heart as well. Oh, and do you know how they took out your brain?
Jonathan: Evy, I don't think that we need to know this
Evelyn: They took a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.
Rick: Ooh, that's got to hurt.
Evelyn: It's called mummification, you'll be dead when they do this.
Rick: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification.
Jonathan: Likewise.

Evelyn: [after destroying the museum library] Oops.

Dr. Bey: [stutters in disbelief] Oh look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies, locusts! Anything but you. Compared to you the other plagues were a joy!
Evelyn: I am so very sorry it was an accident.
Dr. Bey: My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!

[first lines]
Ardeth Bay: [narrating] Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.

Evie and Im-Ho-Tep: Death is only the beginning.]

[In a darkened room]
Evelyn: Abdul?
[no answer]
Evelyn: Mohammed?
[no answer]
Evelyn: ... Bob?

[at Hamunaptra, opening Imhotep's sarcophagus]
Evelyn: Oh God, I hate it when these things do that.
Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy like that, he's still... still...
Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.

Rick: Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.

Evelyn: We must stop the Mummy before he is fully regenerated. Who opened that chest?
Mr. Henderson: Well, there was me, and Daniels, and Burns of course, and, oh yes, that Egyptologist guy.
Rick: What about my buddy Beni?
Mr. Daniels: Nah, he scrammed out of there before we even opened the damn thing.
Mr. Henderson: Yeah. He was the smart one.
Rick: That sounds like Beni.

Warden Gad Hassan: No more goat soup.

Mr. Daniels: Stupid superstitious bastard.

Evelyn: The map! The map! We forgot the map!
Rick: Relax. I'm the map. It's all up here.
[points to his head]
Evelyn: Oh, that's comforting.